Trammeled
by livelovelaugh91
Summary: It seems that Clare would just leave her abusive boyfreind but it isn't that easy when innocent lives hang in the balance. Will Eli be able to save her before its too late or will Clare wither and die at the end of vicious fists? Reviews please! Rated M
1. Chapter 1

**The people might be a bit out of character. There's going to be a lot of violence. It's going to be a wild ride so buckle up….**

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><p><strong>Reviews would be nice because it lets me know somebody is reading my story and it also makes me want to add. The more reviews I get the more I like to add… Just something to keep in mind =)<strong>

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><p><em>I don't own Degrassi...<em>

**Clare**

His fist flew at my face like a bullet from a gun. He hit me and I fell to the ground clutching my cheek. I saw blood on my hands, I'm bleeding. I scooted over to the wall. To try and pull myself up but he kicked me in the back.

"Jake please!"

"No you fucking cunt! If you want to flirt with other men this is the price you pay. This is your punishment for being a whore."

"I'm not! He was my friend! I was just saying hello!"

"Fuck that! I'm the only guy you say hello to! Got that bitch!"

"…"

"You better agree or else."

"Okay…"

I can't believe he hit me. He's never hit me before. He seemed so nice. I just don't know what to do right now. Do I call the police or leave? Where can I go from here? I feel so helpless! As soon as he was in a asleep I went to my parents not bothering to take a cell phone or even a change of clothes. I have to leave, and I have to do it now.

When I got there and opened the door the sight I saw was frightening. My father was being kicked by three men, one in a cop's uniform, while they held my mother and made her watch. They were both gagged so they couldn't scream.

"What is going on here! Leave my family alone!"

"Well if it isn't the princess now!"

Jake came from the back with a baseball bat in his hands. He was at sleeping, how can he be here right now? Why is he here right now?

"I thought you loved me Clare. Isn't that what you said after the first time we fucked? That you loved me…"

"You did this?"

"Look Clare… I love you. I got a little carried away tonight but I need you to come back."

"Why should I do that?"

"Because if you don't… I'll kill your mommy and daddy for borrowing the millions they did and not paying my family back."

"Mom, dad, what's going on here?"

The untied my parents mouths.

"Clare we were about to lose everything. Your father gambled it all away so we borrowed money to keep our houses, cars, insurance and to pay your tuition and then your father gambled away the money we were going to use to pay half back."

"See Clare… I don't know if you knew this but your daddy is a drunk and a gambler… We would have killed him months ago but when I met you and found out you were his daughter I decided not to do it. I mean a couple million missed is worth having a pretty girl."

"So you…. I'm collateral?"

"Exactly. You are collateral… I like that word. So if you leave again, I put an apple in their mouths and I send them sinking to the bottom of the Hudson River with cement shoes to keep their feet warm… But if you stay, mommy and daddy can live and the debt will be waived. Clare the choice is really yours here…"

"You can't do something like this! The police…"

"That's funny, the fucking police work for me! Do you not see this man in blue uniform right here. I'm the one who is signing his fucking check… Clare so decision making time. Either you choose me, or death. Time's a wasting."

I looked at my parents and then I looked back at Jake.

"I'm stay with you."

"Great. Guys, back off… Mr. and Mrs. Edwards, have a lovely evening."

I left with him and that was the first night I cried until dawn.

**Eli**

"So your dad is really cool."

"Adam just cool it."

"I'm just saying. I don't know anybody with a dad who is part of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police!"

"Adam just drop it! Do you want me to uninvited you from my birthday dinner?"

"No sir."

"Okay… Look don't ask him a bunch of questions please."

"Okay…no questions. You got it."

We got to dinner. My dad was already there waiting on us. Adam and I got seated and my dad slid a beer my way.

"Adam, Eli… I'm happy to see you. Happy Birthday son."

"Thanks dad."

"Mr. G do you have a gun? Can I see it?"

"Adam! Shut up!"

"Sorry…"

"It's okay… Adam I like to leave work at work…okay?"

"Okay, totally…got it. Are we on a stake out?"

"Adam!"

"Okay, got it."

So Adam was a little over excited to meet my dad. It's not easy having him be a part of the RCMP. I spent a lot of time alone growing up but it's always been our tradition to have dinner on my birthday. He always treats me to a steak and a beer. As I enjoyed the dinner with my dad and best friend a very saddening conversation came up.

"So…heard from Clare lately?"

"No… I mean I see her around campus but we don't really speak. She's dating a new guy."

"Well, there are other fish in the sea."

"Not for me."

"I used to say that about your mom."

"And look at you… still single. It has been twelve years."

"Don't worry about me boy… you just focus on your love life."

"Uh huh."

After dinner my dad got back to his job and I dropped Adam off. I went back to my apartment and I decided to call Clare. I know she's dating somebody else but I still want to hear her voice. I miss her… I can't deny that. I miss her golden locks, her big blue eyes and the way she would argue with me. In the end I just had too many skeletons to deal with for us to be together. I wish I'd dealt with them earlier.

"Hello?"

"Hi Clare, its Eli. I was just…calling to say Hello."

"Eli…happy birthday. I was going to call I just…"

"It's okay. I just really wanted to hear your voice. Is he there? Is that the reason you are whispering?"

"Uh huh…"

"Oh... Clare, you don't have to say this back but I love you and I miss you."

"Me too…"

The next thing I heard was a loud crash and the call ended. I guess she had to go. Probably having sex with the new guy.

**Clare**

I've never missed Eli more than I do now. I miss how sweet he was and how he listened to me. I mostly miss how he never raised a finger to harm me. Jake came out of the bathroom and caught me on the phone with Eli. It was worth the beating to get to talk to him and wish him a happy birthday.

"So you were making arrangements to fuck or something? I see."

"I swear I wasn't Jake. He's an old friend and I was just wishing him a happy birthday. He called me."

"Fucking liar!"

He smacked me and I fell off the bed, hitting the nightstand on my way down. I managed to crawl into the bathroom for refuge. I locked the door and I looked for something, anything to aid me in protecting myself. There was nothing, not even a razor. I suddenly saw water pouring in under the door. I noticed the smell immediatel and realized then that it wasn't water, but alcohol! The next thing to follow was a flame. He's smoking me out! I fled the bathroom and right into his fist. I wish I was dead.

**So I know I just jumped right into the abuse and whatnot but… taking the slow road is so boring sometimes. I get impatient and just want to jump right into the meat! Let me know if you thin I'm going too fast though and I'll try to slow it down. Anyways, if you have any comments, suggestions, questions…anything to say shoot me a review and I thank you for reading. I also thank you ahead of time for reviewing. Sorry this was so long I just had alot to say.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Guys, this story is going to be mostly from Eli and Clare's POV but occasionally I will throw another POV in to add information that Eli and Clare don't know. Cool? Okay! Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Clare**

Today has been a good day so far. Jake is being nice… When he's in a good mood there is nobody better to be around. He was feeling generous today so he decided to take me shopping. I never turn down a shopping spree. The only thing that worries me is the fact that I might not be able to hide my injuries from the public. People will look at the bruises on my back and the cigarette burns on my shoulders and automatically know they aren't the products of clumsiness.

We went to a little boutique. The clothes looked unique and also very pricey. There was one dress that caught my eye in particular though. It was floral. It buttoned all the way up and it looked like it would stop right above my knee. The sleeves were short and the dress came with a belt. It was simple but I liked it. It reminded me a lot of the print on a journal Eli gave me just because he saw it and thought I would like it.

"I like this dress."

"Why?"

"It's pretty. Don't you think it's pretty Jake?"

"Yeah, if you're someone's grandma."

"I just think it's really…"

"Don't think. That's my job, you just look sexy. I like this dress for you."

He handed me something that was sequined, short and clingy. I hate it and I would never wear anything to make myself look so cheap. I would object but if I do I'll only get myself in deeper shit.

"You don't like this dress do you? You can tell me Clare…"

"I don't like the dress."

"That's fine… You can just get your grandma dress."

"Really?"

"Yeah…"

I tried the dress on and I loved the way it looked on me. Not like an old lady at all. Jake doesn't know what he's talking about. I love this dress. He paid for it and the cashier bagged it.

"Thank you."

"You're welcomed."

The drive back to his apartment was quiet. Ever since I found out who he really is he's made me move in with him. I guess that way he can track my every move. It's like being in prison twenty four hours a day but I can't say anything. All I can do is wait…wait for one of us to die.

When we got inside I went to the bathroom and when I came out he was holding my dress and examining it. Maybe he's starting to take a liking to the thought of it on me. He slipped the belt out of the dress's loops and he held it in his hands while he continued looking down at the garment. Then suddenly without warning or cause he ripped the dress into pieces.

"How dare you reject the dress I wanted to give you as a gift you ungrateful little bitch!"

"I'm sorry Jake. I was going to wear the dress…you asked me if I hated it so I told you the truth. You offered to buy this dress afterwards! Remember?"

"All I remember is you making me look like an idiot in front of everyone in the store!"

"I didn't Jake! I swear I didn't!"

The look on his face said he was tired of arguing so I ran. I ran to the spare bedroom. I locked the door and I got into the closet. This won't hide me for long but maybe for a few minutes it can shield me from the beating.

I heard pounding at the door. I could picture him, ramming against the wood with all of his force to get in. As if by miracle the pounding stopped. I almost through it was safe to come out until I heard gunshots. I heard the metal doorknob ding as it hit the hardwood floor. I just hope... I hope he shoots me. I hope he kills me. I hope this is all over with.

The closet door opened and there he was, standing over me. I've always wondered what a demon would look like. In church they describe horrible, ugly looking things with horns, tails and animal's faces but now I know that demons come disguised as beautiful people, beautiful people who drag fools like me into the depths of Hades.

He started kicking me so in my feeble attempt to fight back I kicked him in the knee. He hissed in pain but the delay didn't last long. Before I knew it cold, hard steel was hitting my face and I was kissing the hardwood. I lay on the floor defenseless and crying, praying to god that I'd appeal to Jake's softer nature. The tears halfway worked for the first time ever. He didn't hit or kick me again. Instead he just stood over me and stooped down to talk to me.

"Go clean yourself up and make me a fucking sandwich. You know how I like it."

"Okay."

"Alright beautiful. Don't make me have to tell you twice."

I pulled myself up and I stumbled to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror to see a big bloody welt across my face from where the gun hit. My lip was also busted. There was a pound on the door. I jumped hard.

"I'm going to the store for some beer. Have my food done when I come back."

"Okay…"

When I heard the front door slam shut I breathed a sigh of relief and I sat down on the toilet. My phone started to ring. I looked the caller ID… It's Adam.

"Hello?"

"Clare, did you forget we had coffee plans today? Where are you at woman?"

"I just got preoccupied. Give me thirty minutes please."

"Okay… Thirty minutes and then I'm coming for you."

I hurried and covered my bruise. I've never had to use makeup but I learned quick how to conceal bruises and cuts. I put on some lipstick to hide the fact that my lip was busted. I fixed the sandwich for Jake and I hurried out the door. If I don't leave now…he won't let me go.

I made it to the coffee shop. Adam and Alli were there along with Eli. Everything seemed so normal. They all seemed so normal. Their lives were mundane and mine used to be too but now it's not. I'm living with a mobster… a crazy one and if I leave my parents will die. I wish I could let my friends know that but I know it will only endanger them. Their ignorance is their safety.

It was hard to have a regular conversation because I couldn't stop thinking about the beating that is sure to come to me for coming out today. Jake called me… more than once. After four times he stopped trying. He's probably pissed but this is worth the beating to hang out with my friends.

Adam and Alli went to get refills for everybody. It was just me and Eli at the table alone. He was looking at me with worry and concern on his face.

"Clare what's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"You're all nervous. You just aren't here today and your lip is all swollen."

"I ate some Kiwi, you know I'm allergic."

"Oh yeah… stay away from those. Are you okay? You just don't seem well."

"I am it's just…uh…Darcy. She's got Malaria again. I'm concerned."

"Oh. Well will she be okay?"

"They are giving her meds and she's getting better but still… I'm worried."

"Oh well I'm sure she will be fine. Don't worry about it. How's the new beau treating you?"

"Good."

"Just good?"

"Eli… don't please?"

"Okay okay. Just tell him to treat you right okay? You deserve it. I'm just sad I never was able to."

"You did treat me right Eli. You were a good boyfriend I just think we needed to get ourselves together…apart."

"Well… either way, I hope you are happy."

Alli and Adam returned and I enjoyed four more hours of normalcy. When I got back to our apartment there weren't any lights on. I opened the door slowly and I clicked on the lamp. Jake was sitting on the couch with an empty bottle of whiskey in his hands. He opened his eyes slightly to look at me and I thought he was going to pounce on me…but instead he ran to the toilet to vomit.

I went into the bathroom to check on him. Hopefully if I show concern he will forget that I've been hanging with my friends. I helped clean him up and get him to bed. He passed out as soon as he hit the pillow. If I wanted to run, now would be the time. I could leave everything and get my parents. We could flee the country and go to Cuba, Mexico… Tennessee. Somewhere that nobody knows us. Somewhere Jake would never suspect. The only issue with that is the fact that he knows people, people who could have him informed and me dead in less than two hours.

I poured myself a glass of scotch and I lit up a cigarette. I sat on the window seal in our bedroom while I looked at the city below. Look at all those little ants, living their lives. Going to the club, going out for booty calls, going for food. I would kill to be one of those little sidewalk ants.

**Eli**

"Just face it dude, this guy is a saint."

"He's a fucking sinner, it's just not on paper in the school's database."

"You know, you are showing classic symptoms of jealous ex syndrome."

"Adam something is just off about him. He's just so…. Something isn't right. He doesn't sit right with me."

"Eli it's late, I'm done hacking tonight. I'm going to bed and you should too."

This "Jake" guy appears to be a saint but I don't trust it. The look on Clare's face said it all. I know good and damn well she didn't eat any kiwi. In addition to being allergic to them she hates them because of all the little seeds! She'd never eat them so I know she lied to me. I just wonder what really happened to her lip. I wonder why she was wearing so much makeup? Why was she wearing any makeup at all…? I always told her she was naturally beautiful. She just does not need that face cake. What reason would she have to put it on? That Jake guy just gives me and eerie feeling and I've never even met him. Maybe I could do a little searching on a database of a different kind.

I called up my aunt. She's part of the RCMP too. Pretty much my entire family is in this business. I'm just glad my dad supported my decision to not follow family tradition and become a writer. He's cool like that.

"Hello my darling nephew. What is it?"

"Aunt Winnie, could you do me a favor?"

"Sure. What is it and will it get me lectured by your father?"

"No it won't. I just need you to look up some info on this name. Jake Martin."

"Okay…be more specific."

"That's all I got. He's around my age, blonde, all that jazz."

"Somebody sounds jealous."

"I'm not; I just want to check this guy out."

"Alright I'll see what I find. Love you."

"Love you too Aunt Winnie."

I put up the recliner and I started to think about all the things that went wrong with me and Clare, mostly things failed because I was a fuck up to begin with. I saw somebody die right in front of me. If it'd been a total stranger it might not have affected me so deeply but it was my first real love. Her name was Julia… and I killed her.

We were at a club in a bad neighborhood. I went to the bar for a drink and I came back to find her dancing with some guy. I got angry and cursed her out. She looked hurt and I knew what I said would never be forgotten. She stormed out of the club. I couldn't decide whether or not to go after her… After a few minutes I decided to chase her down. When I got outside I searched for her but something told me to search the alley. That's where I found her lying in a puddle of dumpster juice by the trash bin. She was holding her hand over a wound that appeared to be in her chest. She was coughing up blood. I immediately went to her side. The last words we exchanged were "I love you's" but she died in my arms before the medics could arrive. They found the guy who killed her. He stabbed her because he was trying to rob her; she lost her life over twenty bucks and a cell phone in horrible condition.

If I'd been nicer, not so jealous or if I'd never been thirsty enough to go to the bar none of it would have happened… That's what ruined me and Clare's relationship. My night terrors, hoarding and mourning. She didn't deserve to have to watch me fall apart. I was a bomb that blew up right in her face. She got hit with the debris and it made scars too deep to heal. I hurt her and I have to accept the fact that she's moved on…but I want to make sure it's with a good guy. My phone rang, it was my aunt Winnie.

"What did you find?"

"Nothing honey bee, you'll just have to be jealous. Dinner with me and your Uncle Chris tomorrow night?"

"You know it."

"Alright see you then."

**Winnie**

Clare Edwards what have you gotten yourself into? She was such a smart girl and so nice but now she's fallen into some deep shit. Jake Martin doesn't have a record himself but his family's criminal record is long enough to wrap around the Earth…twice! When there are mass murders, we look to them. An increase in drug trafficking, they probably have a hand in it. When people go missing, this family is usually the reason and we don't find the bodies unless the river is sweeped for them….we never find the bodies. Jake's family is on our radar twenty four seven. Well, the ones who are familiar to us but Jake… he's still clean, at least on paper. I'm willing to bet Joe College has some skeletons in his closet though.

"Abner."

"Winnie…you know I hate that name."

"Bullfrog, seriously… I've run up on some interesting information lately."

"What?"

"Jake Martin… Clare Edwards."

"I'm gonna need coffee for this one."

**Reviews please! What did you guys think?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Jake**

I watched her sleeping in the chair by the window. Her makeup had rubbed off and her half bruised face was exposed. Why does she bruise so easily? I guess she's just weak. I sat up and the consequences of my drinking binge crashed down on me. My head pounded, my body ached and my stomach talked, but didn't speak nice words. Hung over… I definitely am.

I started remembering the reason why I even got drunk. It was because of Clare. She was gone out with her friends and not picking up the phone. I watched her from afar. She purposely missed the call while she was talking to her ex…

In that instant I forgot about my throbbing head and upset stomach. Revenge is what I wanted. I threw a lamp at the window, causing the window to break. Clare jumped up, confused and still half asleep. Before she could move out of her spot I grabbed her and held half of her body out of the window. She loves this window so much then she can go right through it.

"What I'm not good enough for you to sleep beside?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Fucking cheating bitch! I saw you with your friends… ignoring me yesterday!"

"I wasn't cheating! Please! Please! Let me go."

"Okay."

I let one of her arms go. She was closer to falling. She shrieked out and one or two people started to gather below. I slung her back inside and I pulled the curtains down to keep the onlookers out of our business.

"I cannot believe you! I cannot fucking believe you!"

"Jake please, don't…. I love you, you know that! Please! Believe me."

**Clare**

Jake kissed me hard. The blood from my mouth covered his lips but he didn't seem to mind. He pushed me back on the bed and he started ravishing my body. He ripped off my clothes and kissed my breasts while squeezing them too hard. The cuts on my belly from the window's broken glass stung and throbbed but I didn't cry because I knew if I did he'd only get angry at me. He pushed into me in the roughest way. The sex was too hard and too horrible. I didn't orgasm, I didn't even get close instead the entire time I had to keep from crying. Not only about the fact that he tried to toss me out of a tenth story window, but because of the pain.

The only thing that kept me from screaming and letting the waterworks flow was the thought of me and Eli making love. It was passionate and he was gentle. When Jake is on top of me I just mentally take myself back to one of the many night Eli and I spent together and it helps me cope with the pain. Memories of happier times are the only bullets I have to bite. I was glad when it was finally over. He collapsed on top of me and kissed me. He didn't even notice that I wasn't kissing back. That's because he doesn't care about me. I think he just wants me around for his personal pleasure or to be a scapegoat for everything that goes wrong in his life. He says he loves me, and I know he truly hates me. That's okay though because I hate him too. If I didn't think it would get my family murdered, I'd kill him. He'll probably kill me first though.

When he finally got off of me he went back to sleep. I went to the bathroom and as soon as the shower was running I let out the cry I'd been holding in since I woke up hanging halfway out of a window. When I couldn't cry anymore I put on jeans and a tee shirt and I fixed myself some tea. I noticed that the mail had arrived. I picked it up and there was a letter for me…from the school. The only thing I could make out was the big **Suspended indefinitely** written in bold letters right after my name. I'm expelled. I've been trying so hard. I can't make it to my classes always because…I'm too injured or too tired and I've been trying so hard to keep up with my work. I guess trying wasn't enough. Jake has officially shattered my dreams. I feel like I could just die. I dropped to the floor, temporarily in a catatonic state while I looked at the letter over and over again. I've been kicked out of school…..

I put the letter in the trashcan and I let it burn. The fire grew and it caught the drapes, all I could do was watch. I don't even think I really wanted to put it out or call for help. I just wanted to let it burn me and this demon to a crisp. That didn't happen though. He came from the back and scrambled to put out the flames with a fire extinguisher. When it was all out he turned to look at me. I looked right at him, knowing what was going to happen to me.

"Dumb, crazy ass bitch!"

He rammed me in the stomach with the butt of the fire extinguisher. It hurt and I just knew I had some broken bones but I refused to let myself scream so he beat me until I did. Kicks, punches even breaking vases and other glass decorations over me. The cuts from the glass only hurt for a while and then like the rest of me, they too became numb.

By the time he was done there wasn't a room of the apartment that didn't have my blood in it. On the walls, my bloody handprints told a horrifying story. When he was done with me he went to class… I guess he was able to keep his grades up because I have to do his homework.

**Eli**

"You're Eli right? I'm Jake."

"Jake… Hello."

"Look I just wanted to say that just because I and Clare are dating, that's no reason for us not to be friends."

"Where is Clare?"

"She's under the weather today…she ate some cherries and she's allergic."

"She's not allergic to cherries. They are her favorite. She's allergic to kiwi."

"I meant Kiwi…cherries on the brain I guess. So we should get drinks later."

"I actually have plans."

"Hot date?"

"No… not really. See you around."

Something is really not right with this guy! He comes up to me out of the blue and just wants to be friends… that's not normal and his story about Clare's absence isn't normal. I went to my apartment where Adam was on the computer.

"Adam I need your help."

"What?"

"Look up Clare's registration status."

"More hacking?"

"Please!"

He looked it up and under her information it showed her grades and then the worst… she'd been indefinitely suspended… Expelled. She got kicked out of college. Clare was a study bug…Ms. Dean's list in the flesh. Now I know something is wrong. I just wish I could prove it. I got ready for dinner with my aunt and her husband… Adam is coming along too of course. For the moment, we are both totally lifeless.

When I got to my Aunt Winnie's house it smelled like chicken and other spices. I guess she really did cook. When I went into the dining room she was there with my uncle Chris and my dad. Both of them plastered on fake smiles when they saw me.

"Hey guys!"

"Well hello college boy, and Adam Wadam pudding pie!"

"Hi Winnie."

"Sit! Sit! Eat and let's talk."

"Okay."

The food was good but there was an eerie tension in the air like they knew a secret that I should know but they didn't want to tell me. Maybe it's a RCMP thing or something?

"Adam, has Chris ever showed you his collection of preserved organs?"

"No… But I'd like to see it."

"Come on… I'll show you."

Once Adam and Chris were gone my dad and Winnie both turned to face me.

"Eli we need to ask you a few questions."

"Oookkaaay… Is this why you've been acting all weird?"

"What do you know about Jake Martin?"

"He's an ass hole and I know something isn't right about him but I can't prove it!"  
>"Eli… Your dad and I want you to stay away from him."<p>

"Winnie did you lie to me last night?"

"No…he doesn't have a record but it would behoove you to stay away from him."

"Don't worry, I will. That is why I declined his attempt to be my "new best friend" today…. What a crock!"

"What did he say to you?"

"Said he wanted to be friends and he invited me out for drinks."

"Eli who all knows what….I do for a living?"

"Only Adam. Not even Clare knew."

"Okay… Just watch your back okay? I want you to have this."

My dad handed me a loaded gun. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I had to blink twice just to make sure the piece of fire filled metal was real.

"Dad, why are you giving me a gun?"

"You might need it."

His words were odd and haunting which leaves me to believe that something is wrong with Jake and I was right. This bastard is as crooked as a question mark but they probably have to keep his crimes classified. I just have to get Clare away from him somehow.

**So what do you guys think so far? Some thoughts would be nice so drop a review…it motivates me to read them! Also if you have any questions or suggestions…send em my way! Thanks!**


	4. Chapter 4

Clare

Jake is gone out of town. I know I'm being watched but I have a plan to ditch the stalkers. I had a neighbor bring me back black hair dye and foundation that was a million times darker than I really am. She must have just thought I was trying something new. What she doesn't know is that I'm busting out, past these thugs and I'm going to live for a day.

I dyed my hair with the rinse. After a few shampoos my ginger locks will be back but for today I'm a brunette. I patted the makeup on carefully making sure to cover my neck and chest. I put on gloves to cover my hands. The final touch was color contacts. Brown should do the trick. I looked at myself in the mirror and I didn't look like the same person at all. I put on a pair or sweatpants with a hoodie. I pulled the hood up to better hide my face and then I left, going through the back door of the building. That's when I saw the spy, he didn't even notice it was me or at least I don't think he did. I took a back way to Eli and Adam's apartment. I had to see Eli…

When I knocked on the door I heard Adam's heavy footsteps on the hardwood floor. I also heard his heavy breathing as he looked through the peephole. He opened the door cautiously.

"Clare? Is that you?"

"Adam just let me in okay?"

"What the hell happened?"

"Its… Can I see Eli please?"

"Sure he's showering."

I went into the bathroom where Eli was taking a hot steamy shower and singing an old dead hands song. I smiled to myself…. He always sings that song in the shower. I took out the clothes I'd put in a backpack but I probably should have taken off the makeup first. The water shut off and Eli stepped out wearing a towel and nothing else.

"Ahh! Clare?"

"Eli hi!"

"What the…I don't even know which question to ask you right now."

"I'm in this disguise because… it was the only way I could get out and I'm here because I missed you and Adam and my life."

"Well…wipe that stuff off your face and we'll talk. I think we have a lot to talk about."

I cleaned the overly dark foundation off of my face and put my usual color on to hide my bruises, I took out the contacts and I changed into some clothes that were more my style. When I came out of the bathroom I went into Eli's room where he was now fully dressed and holding a gun.

"Seems like everybody has one of those nowadays."

"Oh Clare…its nothing. Just a little something for protection. Now tell me…what is going on with you? I know you get expelled…what happened Clare? I'm worried about you."

I didn't know where to start in telling Eli what was going on so I simply wiped my face. The makeup came off and I was exposed. He frowned as he walked over to me. Almost like I was a dangerous animal ready to attack. He gently touched the bruises, careful not to cause me any pain. After seeing those he looked me in the eyes but I couldn't handle staring into those green globes right now. I raised my shirt just over my stomach and I showed him the marks and bruises there, and on my back. The room was silent except for my sniffles. It's like he didn't know what to say and neither did I. He finally broke the silence.

"Clare…He did this?"

"Yes…these are the bruises from last night."

"He hits you like this all the time?"

"Yes…Eli

"Why don't you leave?"

"I can't…"

"Clare now isn't the time to feel sorry for the bastard."

"It's not that… if I leave…somebody will die. So you see I have to stay or else…there's blood on my hands."

"I swear Clare… I'm going to help you out of this."

"No… there's nothing you can do Eli. I'm trapped, trammeled and caged. I just needed to talk to you. I just wanted to hug you and hear your voice. I just wanted to be in an apartment and sit on a couch without getting beat up for simply being there."

We were both crying but his tears fell silently while mine came out with a sob. It felt good to share with someone all that was happening but I also felt a little scared. What if Eli told someone? He could be put in danger too.

"Eli you can't tell anyone okay? Promise me."

"Clare…I know someone who can help you. You and these people can leave and start entirely different lives."

"It's not that easy… he took them with him to make sure I'll still be there when he gets back. If I'm not there then they die. I've never felt so helpless. I just wish I could die… I just keep wishing and praying for it and it never happens… No death and no way out! I don't know what I did to deserve this!"

"You didn't do anything. It's just happening but Clare I know someone who can help you."

**Eli**

"Hello?"

"Dad… I need your help. It's important please."

"Okay son meet me at the usual diner."

"No… I don't want to go in public. It's a private matter."

"Okay then… come to the house."

"Okay…"

Clare and I went to my dad's. Adam was asleep and I figured this needed to be handled with just the three of us anyway. We got to my dad's and I let myself in. My dad was sitting on the couch reading the papers. He looked to us and he seemed shocked by how badly bruised Clare's face was.

"So this is what was so important… Clare, are you okay?"

"No, I'm not… How can you help me?"

"RCMP… Did Jake do this?"

"Yes."

"I'm going to need pictures."

Bullfrog took some photos of Clare's injuries and then we sat down with coffee and she started telling us everything. This Jake fella is really fucked up. By the time Clare was done telling us what happened I wanted to rip his head off and set his bloody corpse on fire!

"So you can't leave because he's threatening to kill your parents?"

"Yes…"

"And the reason you couldn't plot an escape now is because he took them with him to ensure that you wouldn't try to flee."

"Exactly."

"Clare how often are you around his family?"

"All the time… they are always coming over and talking business. When they do I'm supposed to stay in the other room and do woman's work but I can still hear them through the walls."

"Does Jake ever mention his crimes to you?"

"You mean how he's killed seventy five people since his first murder at age twelve?"

"Clare… we will get you out but I think we have everything we need to trap Jake and possibly his family."

"What can I do?"

"That's where my sister comes in."

Aunt Winnie arrived and she looked shocked to see us both.

**Bullfrog**

Finally, I might have enough evidence to get this fucking family locked away somewhere they don't have pull and don't know everybody. I had Winnie bring over her big box of gadgets so that we could find a way to get Clare discreetly wired up.

"What's going on Abner? Why did you have me bring the big box?"

"It's Clare…"

"Say no more… What does she know."

"Enough to get him and them life… Man its times like this I wish we lived in Texas."

"Why?"

"Death penalty. As much as I want to uphold the law I want to see them all dead."

This case means more to me that just helping Clare… It would be revenge for the death of my wife. Eli was just a young kid when she died so I told him she was in a wreck but the truth is…she was murdered. Shot in the head and left in her car to rot. I was just a regular cop then… I was honest, so when I found out that some of my counterparts had dealings with the biggest crime family in the city I reported it… They killed Cece to make an example and to keep me quiet. This case is more than just getting crooks behind bars, for me it's finally getting justice for the only woman I've ever loved.

Winnie called my name and I turned my attention to her.

"Big bro you are thinking about that crime scene again aren't you?"

"It's one I'll never forget… Her blood on the dash and all over the picture of us…me, her and Eli. I just keep wondering though… if you weren't babysitting that night would they have killed him too?"

"Don't think about it. You will only upset yourself. That doesn't matter, all that matters now is that Eli did live and grow up and he's a good kid… Such as good kid that he's risking his life to help Clare. Where are they anyway?"

**Winnie**

We went into the living room where Clare and Eli were sitting. She had horrible bruises all over her face and even down to her hands. This must be Jake's doings.

"Hi Clare… It's been a long time."

"Hi Winnie, it has. I just hate that we have to meet on such bad circumstances."

"Well… its life. So what am I hooking you up with?"

Bullfrog started telling me our plan. Clare said that the kid mentions his family's dealings and his own murderous accomplishments all the time when he's beating her. It gave me the perfect idea. We can't go with a traditional tracker or wire or even a traditional camera. This time we are going to have to go really high tech…

"Introducing…the inserted Mic."

"That's a Mic? It's so tiny. What do I do? Eat it?"

"No... I'll insert it into your hairline and that way we can hear everything It will feed us Intel at headquarters and the machine will record every word. Then there's the tracker."

"Do I eat that?"

"No… I'll insert it into your shoulder by needle just like the Mic. It will tell us where you are at all times and since we can hear and see you, we will know the right time to attack. Last but not least we have the camera."

"Where is that going to go?"

"Your forehead, just like the Mic and it won't be noticeable at all… Clare we are going to get this bastard."

"I hope so…"

**So it's kind of building up…. Tell me what you think so far! Do you think Clare will get any good Intel?**


	5. Chapter 5

**This is going to be a jammed packed chapter…Hope you like it!**

**Clare**

Jake's family was over and he was being extra cruel. It was like they made him more malicious. He asked me to fix him a sandwich and I did but when I bought it to him he threw the sandwich at me and accused me of trying to make a fool out of him. He raped me in front them all. They just stood there laughing and pointing as if it were a television show. When he was done with me he doused his drink on me and beat me like always.

I was glad to be thrown in the room so that I could be away from him and his evils. The only good thing is that he's been having loose lips lately and I've been getting really good info… Winnie and Bullfrog seemed to be building the file. Hopefully they can put these people away. Even though I was separated from the conversation by a door, I still ended up hearing every word being said. The voice from the microphone Winnie gave me buzzed in my ear…

"You are doing a great job Clare. We can hear everything."

They were talking about money…a billion dollars worth of cocaine was coming in tomorrow so they were going to get it. Also…they were talking about murder. They were going to kill Jake's brother in law because he was tipping off other criminals and they were losing money. The rest of the conversation was sickening. Jake asked them if they dealt with the Brovloski's and they cheerfully talked about setting the house on fire, blocking the exits and watching it burn to the ground. There's a little three year old girl still fighting for her life because of that fire and the worst part is that if she lives…she won't have any family to go home to because she was the only survivor… They did this. I've always known they were monsters but this is the first time I've heard of them harming children. Then things started to get scary.

They started talking about my family. Turns out…we're up next on the list to die. Jake was the one bringing up the subject. I guess since he's broken the toy he's throwing it in the trash. He'd decided we were going to be tossed into Lake Eerie… It's frozen right now. I started to panic. I thought if I just lived this hellish existence everything would be okay! I've been miserable for nothing! I would have rather lived my last few months being blissfully ignorant than being in hell and then learning it was all for nothing! The voice buzzed in my ear.

"Clare, stay calm… He's going to take you. Just know that we aren't far behind. You have the tracker in you so we'll always know where you are."

It felt like I was going to puke. Please make Winnie and Bullfrog be two steps ahead of the game or else I might lose my head! I heard footsteps coming towards the door so I sat on the bed. Jake didn't say anything to me; instead he just hit me in the face with his gun. I guess I passed out.

**Eli**

They are going to try and kill Clare! This can't happen! We have to save her! The camera and microphone were still working so we had lots of information to lock them away with. They are clever criminals but they like to brag and now all that bragging is going to get them the punishment they deserve…at least I hope so. I just hope we don't get there too late.

The helicopter started up. I just want to kick that smug little bastard in the face and then kill him with my own two hands. Seeing what he did to Clare today and the last few days as well was almost unbearable. I couldn't take it! He raped her…in front of all those sons of bitches and then they all just laughed about it. He's without morals and a conscience. Sociopaths like him should be killed! They should be beheaded, pissed on set on fire and then their ashes should be spread over the most disgusting places in the world.

**Clare**

I woke up in the back of a van with my hands tied in front of me. My face stung, probably front being pistol whipped. I looked over and I saw my parents. Each of them had a big bloody gash on their forehead, they were barely awake.

"Dad…. Mom?"

"Clare… so sorry."

That was all my dad said before he drifted back into unconsciousness. I don't want to blame him so I won't. I just wish he'd made better decisions. I wish I'd made better decisions. I wish I'd never met Jake Martin then I wouldn't be in this mess.

We made it to the lake and it just looked like an infinity of ice…this is it. We are going to die. Jake dragged me out of the car while two thugs grabbed my parents. Where is everyone? I thought they'd help me! Someone was cutting a hole in the ice while my mother and father begged for mercy. I just shut my mouth… I've been begging for death and now it's looking me right in the face. I better go greet it.

Jake kicked me closer and closer to the hole until finally I went into the freezing cold water, on the way down I hit my head. It was a shock. I couldn't try and escape because my hands were tied. The icy cold water felt like it was cutting my skin. Above me I saw somebody hit the ground and blood spilled out… Things started to get fuzzy.

**Eli**

We finally arrived and Clare was under the ice. I got the ax one of the thugs used and I chopped it open, grabbing her just before she drifted down to the bottom. She wasn't breathing and her head was bleeding, I gave her mouth to mouth resuscitation to try and bring her back. After she finally did spit up the water I knew I only had a little time to help her because the hypothermia would set in fast. Carrying her away would have been easy if we weren't in the middle of a shoot out. So far… my dad has killed Jake's dad…but nobody has killed Jake!

While I was walking away with her I felt a stinging in my arm. I looked down and it was bleeding. I looked back to see Jake chasing after us. I started going faster, pushing as fast as I could with Clare in my arms. She was starting to shiver and take on an even more blue color. I have to do something quick, but what will I do about this nut?

I managed to make it to the trees. I lay Clare in a patch of forest that wasn't covered in snow. Jake was nowhere to be found but his voice was ringing through the air.

"Eeeeellllliiiiii….. Eli…"

"That's my name, don't wear it out."

"You're funny… we could have been friends Eli old buddy old pal but you just had to be rude and refuse my friendship…for Clare."

I heard the sound of crunching snow behind me so I abruptly turned back to see Jake pointing his pistol at me. I shot his index finger. He started screaming in pain and agony. I should have shot him in the nuts.

"You fucking bastard! My finger! You know I should have just killed her when I had the chance! I should have dropped her out that window and watched all the pieces of her splatter on the sidewalk like a busted water balloon! But shooting her in the head will work too."

"Drop it or I swear I will kill you!"

"Do that and Gino there…behind you will kill you."

I looked back and saw that there was a guy behind me. I guess they called for backups. They both had their guns cocked and I could tell Jake was about to fire. Just then out of nowhere a shot came and Gino fell to the ground, completely and definitely dead. Before I could look around to even see who it was Gino's killer was I got shot… right in the chest. Where my heart would be if I didn't have on a bullet proof vest. I pretended to be dying. Jake walked off forgetting about his mission to shoot Clare in the head. He was clutching his bloody nub and the finger I shot off. When I was certain he left I opened my eyes and I got up. Adam came out of nowhere.

"Adam! What are you doing here?"

"I've sort of been eavesdropping on you and your dad's conversations… This is so cool!"

"Adam go home!"

"No man… I'm living the life... Shooting thugs. I killed that guy… I KILLED THAT GUY!"

"Shut up Adam… I need you to help me find a warm place for Clare."

"What about the ambulance that's on the way?"

"Great… I just need to keep her warm until then."

"I'll keep Clare warm. You just go and find that Jake guy…"

I got up and shook off the pain. I walked out onto the ice. The main fight had ended and the main players in this twisted ass family were either dead or in custody. I was surprised when I saw Jake sprawled out on the ice dead as a doorknob.

"What happened to him?"

"Mr. Edwards did it."

The ambulances came. Luckily everyone from the good side of the fence still had their lives. The ambulance arrived and I saw them loading Clare in. I ran across the ice and climbed into the hospital on wheels with her. They had her in a space blanket. I grabbed her icy hand and she scrounged up enough energy to look my way. She gave me a weak smile before closing her eyes again. I wish she was awake so I could tell her we got this bastard. He's dead…and he's not ever coming back to hurt her.

"Son your arm is bleeding and our chest too."

"No...They are both just grazes… I'm fine."

"Better let a doctor look at that once we make it to the hospital."

They started Clare on a warm drip and they put heating pads under her armpits. She was still shivering but the color was starting to come back to her lips and cheeks. I think she's going to be okay. Once we got to the hospital they whisked Clare away so that she could be rewarmed and I got stitches on my chest and arm. When I came out of the little room I found Adam, Bullfrog and Winnie in the waiting room.

"Guys…what are you doing here?"

"Seeing about you son. Are you sure you don't want to reconsider going into he family business?"

"Nah Dad… writing about stuff like this is as close as I ever want to get to it again… Adam thanks for having my back."

"Adam, how did you get here?"

"Well Mr.G , I sort of… I've been eavesdropping on you and Eli and when I heard about this I borrowed my dad's gun and reported for duty… Yup… I killed a guy."

"Why?"

"He was about to shoot Eli in the head because Eli was about to shoot Jake because Jake was about to shoot Clare…"

"Well…it was justified then. Eli, how is Clare?"

"She's regaining consciousness but she isn't awake."

"Well when she wakes up I have to thank her for getting the information and helping me get justice. Even though that bastard won't get any jail time… I must admit I find comfort in the fact that he's burning in hell for killing your mom and everybody else he's killed over the years."

I'm glad this is all over and I'm glad everybody I know is okay… As for Jake, the wolves can feast on his corpse for all I care because proper burial isn't needed for filthy animals like him.

**Clare**

I woke up in a warm room, wrapped in a warm blanket. I'm in the hospital. I buzzed the nurse and she came in with a smile on her face.

"Well look who is finally up!"

"What happened?"

"You were bought in for having a horrible case of hypothermia. You almost died but we thawed you up and now you're okay."

"Oh...Is there anybody here?"

"Well your family was here but them and the rest of the people who were here waiting for you went to a hotel to bathe and get some food but there is a handsome young man waiting. If I were your age I'd hop on that."

"Could you please send him in?"

After chuckling at the nurse's colorful comment I tried to sit up but my entire body was sore. I guess freezing and thawing out has a strange effect on your muscles. Eli came into the room. He had bandages on his arm and there was dried blood on his chest. What happened to him?

"Eli… I'm so glad to see you."

"I'm glad to see you…awake and not a vegetable. How do you feel?"

"I don't know… I'm just hoping everything will be okay now. What if Jakes tries to get out of jail and come after me? What if his family…"

"Clare Jake is dead. Your dad killed him…"

"What?"

I started crying and I don't know why… I just started boohooing. I wasn't sad that Jake was dead; in fact I was happy I just didn't know how to act. Eli wrapped me in his arms until I stopped crying.

"I'm not crying because I'm sad."

"I know…I'm sorry any of this happened."

"You don't have to apologize…You didn't do anything wrong."

"Yeah but… I still wish this hadn't happened."

"I'm just so glad it's over."

It felt like I could take my first free breath in months. Even though the abuse and the relationship lasted less than a year I somehow know it's changed me for the rest of my life. Thanks to Jake I will probably have nightmares until the day I die but I'll endure the nightmares as long as I have my freedom. I'm just glad he's dead and I cannot wait for the upcoming day when I can dance on Jake Martin's grave.

**So what did you guys think? Jammed packed huh? Shoot me a review! Thanks for reading! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Clare**

I woke up in a cold sweat. It's always the same reoccurring dream with Jake standing over me holding a gun to my head. I always feel so frozen and helpless. I'm not actually sure if it's a dream or a memory. I'm hoping it's a dream.

I tried going back to sleep. The university was persuaded by Eli's dad to let me back in and erase last semester from my records completely so I start the new semester with everyone else…tomorrow morning bright and early. It's only been two months since the incident and things seem to be getting back to normal at least on the outside. I was able to get my old apartment back. It still smelled like the orange air fresheners I had all through the place when I moved back in.

The criminals had a speedy trial and the RCMP bought out every piece of information that they could find to put the men away forever… They succeeded. They are scattered in high security prisons across the world, well...the ones who didn't commit suicide in jail or die at the standoff. That's something I never have to worry about again.

I closed my eyes and I drifted off to sleep again. The dream seemed so real. Jake was standing over me with an evil smile plastered in his face. It's like I felt my face throbbing like it used to after I'd been beaten. He opened his mouth and he started to talk to me… "Clare you'll always be my little ragdoll… No matter how many feet I am under this city and no matter how much you try to rebuild your life I will always destroy you…bitch" In the dream he struck at me again, making me jump and wake up. I looked around and the sun was up. My alarm clock started to chime.

I caught my breath and I went to shower. I was drenched in sweat. I wouldn't want to stink on my first day back so I took a long steamy shower… The hot water not only cleansed me but it calmed my nerves. After the shower I put on a pair of jeans with a tank top and light sweater. It's fall and while it's not cold yet, it is a little nippy outside. I grabbed my purse and keys and I was out the door. My apartment is within walking distance of the school so I will have time to get myself together. At least I hope I will.

While I was standing at the crosswalk I heard two familiar voices behind me arguing. It was Eli and Adam fighting over video games. Eli and I still aren't officially together. In fact I've been trying to avoid him since the standoff because he's always telling me I need therapy but I don't because I'm just fine!

"Hello fellas."

"Sup Clare."

"Hi… You uh, look exhausted."

"I didn't sleep well last night."

"Why?"

"Just a bad dream is all."

"Clare you should talk to someone. How many nights can you go without sleep?"

"Eli please just drop it. I'm fine… I don't need help I just need to move on with my life."

He didn't say anything else about it on the way to school. Instead we talked about normal stuff…the weather, sports, books and things like that. I knew he still had a huge lecture to give me but at least it's postponed for now.

Since I was retaking my previous year I got all of my old teachers. I already knew what to expect from their classes so the first day wasn't shocking or horrible. They all seemed glad to see me again and I was just glad to be back. After class, as I was walking through the school's student center I saw something that spooked me. It was a guy; from behind he looked just like Jake. At that moment I'd forgotten that Jake was dead, the familiarity alone was sending me into a huge panic attack. The guy turned around and his face looked nothing like Jake's but the damage was already done. I couldn't breathe and my chest hurt. I couldn't stop myself from crying. I ran to the bathroom, leaving a trail of loose papers behind me. I made it to a stall just in time to throw up. The anxiety weakened me so after I blew chunks I sat on the floor of the bathroom with my face buried in my knees while I cried my eyes out. He's dead but he still haunts me. He haunts me in my dreams, in my life and in my mind.

There was a light knocking on the door. I was prepared not to open it until I heard the voice of the person knocking.

"Clare, honey you gotta come out of there…"

"Alli?"

"Yes it's me… I saw you run out of the lounge. What's up with that?"

"I just… I'm sick."

"Oh well…I'll just return these papers and when you are feeling better…we can have lunch."

"I'd like that."

"Alright… see you around."

"Okay."

Once I finally got the strength to come out of the bathroom I felt like eyes were plastered to my face. Everybody probably knows that I was…beaten and raped. I went to the food court to try and find something to eat to stop my shakes but as soon as I got in the space with the scents from all the different foods I felt sick to my stomach so I went sprinting to the bathroom again. I threw up a few times and I stood in the stall waiting for my sudden spell of dizziness and nausea to pass. When it finally did I walked out of the bathroom again Ali was walking by.

"Hey you, finally out of the bathroom?"

"Just coming back out… I think I might have a bug."

"That's too bad. Hey do you have a tampon? I don't want to go back to my dorm and I just got my Aunt Flo. I figure if I'm coming on then you must be coming off since that's how it usually is."

"No I actually don't have one… I guess I'm a little late."

"You mean…you haven't been 'visited' this month?"

"No. I'm sure it's just stress."

"Probably. Well, I'll catch up with you later hun."

"Okay."

A spark of fear and curiosity came to life inside me. If I'm sick and late could it mean I'm pregnant? Pregnant with that maniac's baby! I walked to the corner drugstore close to the campus. Shame washed over my face as I looked at the pregnancy tests to try and decide which one was best for me. I finally decided to grab one and take it to the front to pay of it. The hood of my sweater didn't cover my face like I wanted. I didn't want to be seen. I didn't want anyone to know I could possibly be carrying a maniac murderer's demon seed.

I went to my apartment and I took the test. I was anxious to see what the results were. Once I made water on the stick the waiting game began. My mind was blank and my body was completely numb. I hope I'm not pregnant… If I am I just don't know what I'll do.

Five minutes passed and the results were in…positive. I sat on the ledge of the bathtub in total shock. I'm pregnant with Jake's child…I clawed at my stomach as if I was trying to remove the fetus from my stomach. It felt like I was going to die. He found his way inside me again! He's dead and he's still inside my body! I knew there was only one thing I could do now. I went to the top of the stairs in the hall of the apartment. I turned around and I fell back. It will look like I tripped and fell and lost the baby.

**Eli**

"She's not picking up I'm going over there."

"Maybe she just wants to be alone."

"Adam, Clare always answers my calls. I have to go over."

"Alright… I'll put the pizza in the stove."

I went over to Clare's place and there was an ambulance outside. This doesn't seem good, not at all. I ran towards the scene of the incident. They were rolling Clare out on a stretcher. There was a bloody gash on her head and she had a neck collar on. What happened? Her neighbor was following the paramedics out, carrying Clare's purse and sweater.

"Ms. Junie, what happened?"

"She fell down the stairs! She just fell down the stairs!"

"I'll ride with her."

I got into the ambulance and I held Clare's hand. She was barely conscious. Clare is never clumsy. In fact she's the most graceful person I know. Something isn't right here.

"Sir could you please stand back while we examine the patient?"

"Sure."

"She's bleeding… It looks like a miscarriage but we won't know for sure until we get to the hospital."

"Miscarriage?"

"It will take further tests to confirm but that's what it looks like."

We got to the hospital and I sat in the waiting room puzzled. I called Clare's parents to let them know what happened. They live in Hawaii now so there's no way they will be able to make the trip unless it's really serious. I told them I'd keep them posted.

After about then minutes the doctor came out to give me some sort of news.

"Clare is going to be just fine. She did lose the baby but she didn't sustain any major injuries. It's mostly bumps and bruises."

"Did she say how she fell down the stairs? She's never really been the type to fall down before."

"Well… she can have visitors. Since she's not badly hurt we are going to release her in a few hours."

I went into the room where Clare was flipping through the television channels. I know she heard me come in but for some reason she didn't want to make eye contact with me.

"Why did you have to throw yourself down the stairs?"

"I didn't… I tripped."

"Clare you are talking to me here, not some oblivious doctors. I know you... you never trip or fall so don't feed me that bullshit."

"Eli just go away okay! I fell! That's it! Why do you have to read into everything?"

"Because Clare I know you need help! When did you find out you were pregnant."

"I'm not."

"Not anymore but you were… that's probably why you did it."

"Ooh look, _Gigantic_ is on."

"I don't give a damn about some stupid TV show Clare! I care about you! I want to know why we are in a hospital room right now! I want answers."

"Well we don't always get what we want."

"You know what Clare I'm tired of seeing you suffer."

"Wait Eli… I don't want you to go I'm j…."

"Oh I'm not leaving but you are going to therapy. Either you go to therapy or I'll tell them you tried to kill yourself!"

"I didn't! I just…I couldn't carry his baby. I couldn't let any part of him re-enter this world."

"There are other ways Clare."

"Then somebody would know…everybody would know. Are you going to tell anyone?"

"No. Have I ever told any of your secrets?"

"Thank you."

She was discharged from the hospital. I got her home and I made sure she was going to be okay. I even made her an appointment for my therapist. When I left she was asleep.

I decided not to even tell Adam that Clare was in the hospital. I will keep this secret between us. I just can't believe she threw herself down the stairs to kill the baby. Clare used to be strictly pro life but I guess things change over time, especially with everything she's been through I can understand. I just want to help her. I need to save her from herself before she self destructs right before my eyes.

**Clare**

I sat on the sofa crying over the decision I made earlier. I killed somebody. I'm a murdere and I'm going to burn in hell! I never thought I would feel this bad. I didn't think about options I just wanted it out of me but now I regret killing that baby. I wish I'd through it through but I was in shock and now I'm a murderer, a killer…just like Jake. Maybe I should be dead just like him. I fell asleep with tears streaming from my eyes. I had another dream. I was being choked. I couldn't breathe and my throat was on fire. I didn't see Jake's lips moving but I heard his voice saying "You killed part of me! I'm going to kill you!" I screamed in my sleep and it woke me up. I clutched my throat and I looked around. I was still alone. I went to my cabinet and I got down the last drop of Vodka I had left. I was trembling so hard that when I tried to pour some in a cup it tipped over, spilling onto my hand, the floor and the counter. I need this numbing remedy and that was the last of it so I licked my fingers clean just to get some of the poison in my system. Just something to make me feel nothing.

**So, what did you guys think? Let me know! Suggestions? Comments? Questions? Review! Thank you for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Clare**

It's been a week since my accident. Things are getting back to normal. I'm letting Eli think I'm okay and I think he's starting to believe it but the dreams are still leaving me without sleep…

I got up out of the bed as my alarm clock chimed. I wasn't asleep, just lying there staring at the ceiling. I took a hot shower and then I got dressed. I skipped breakfast and instead opted for a sip of vodka. It knocked the edge off of my nerves a little.

The crisp air hit me in the face and for once I felt alive. The wind blowing through my scalp made me feel renewed but as soon as the wind stopped, so did the feeling of rejuvenation. Then out of nowhere a lady bumped into me on the sidewalk.

"What the fuck is your problem!"

"Excuse me? I'm sorry!"

"Yes! You are a sorry piece of shit you bump into people and you can't even say I'm sorry! I should kick your ass!"

"Please maam… I didn't mean any harm."

Suddenly Eli came and walked me away.

"Clare what in the hell is wrong with you! You just almost attacked that lady!"

"She bumped into me."

"Are you drunk?"

"No I'm not!"

"Look just…calm down. It's the city; people are going to bump into you. Did you go to Dr. Thornton like I told you to?"

"Maybe."

"Clare…you didn't go did you?"

"I don't need help."

"I think you do! You just almost attacked an innocent woman because of all the rage built up inside of you… you look like you haven't slept in a year and you smell like a bar! Now you have to get it together. We will go today at noon. I just texted him and he's available."

"You can't make me go."

"I can and I will Clare…"

He walked off and suddenly I felt like all eyes were on me. I did just attack that lady and I don't know why. It's like I wasn't myself right then. I looked back and the lady was gone. I guess it's too late to apologize now…

I went to class and I started to doze in the middle of the boring lecture. It's a good thing I have my tape recorder I guess…. When I finally did doze off I went straight into a dream. _I was in the classroom suddenly all alone. Jake and his uncles came through the door. Jake was carrying a bat in his hands. I scrambled to the back of the classroom and I tried to open up the window to escape but it wouldn't budge. Then he went to hit me with the bat_… I jumped and fell out of my seat while yelling. When I realized I was no longer dreaming I looked around and the entire class was looking at me.

"Ms. Edwards, interesting dream?"

"I'm sorry professor."

"Try and stay awake please. Your outbursts are more exciting than my lecture and you are stealing my shine."

I got back into my seat and I tried to focus on the lecture but I just ended up thinking about last week… when I threw myself down the stairs. What's done is done now but… I'm still so torn about it. I mean the baby was technically going to be innocent but what if it had inherited Jake's sociopathic tendencies? So many questions just flood my mind when I think about it and only liquor makes those voices pipe down.

After two more classes I felt like I was going to pass out. I went to the food court where I saw Eli and Adam getting burgers. I tried to avoid them and I thought I'd succeeded until Eli tapped me on the shoulder.

"Worst hide out ever…"

"Oh Eli, I didn't see you there."

"Whatever. Let's grab a bite to eat and go to your appointment."

"You are coming with me?"

"How else will I be sure you really go?"

"Trust me."

"Eat so that we can avoid being late."

I got a pasta dish and I pushed it around my plate. I didn't really want it but I knew Eli would try and make me eat something. Eating isn't really my thing lately. I guess I've just lost my appetite. After Eli finished eating and he and Adam exchanged notes we left for my therapy session.

The office was warm, I can say that much. It smelled like vanilla. It was very inviting. After I signed the paperwork and checked in I was called to the back. I looked back at Eli for reassurance before opening the door. He gave me the smirk that I'm used to but the stern look in his eyes said more than words ever could.

"You must be Clare."

"Hi."

"Hello Clare… So, what's up?"

"I don't know."

"Typical response. Why does the person who recommended you come here think you need help?"

"Well… I was in an abusive relationship and it ended with a standoff and me nearly drowning to death. I can't sleep ever since it and I might be just a little paranoid and a bit aggressive."

"I see…"

"And I killed my baby."

"What?"

"Around this time last week… I found out I was pregnant with my abuser's child so I threw myself down the stairs to make myself miscarry. It wasn't the baby's fault… none of it was I just…I regret it, but then I don't regret it and that makes me regret it even more. I'm a killer."

"Clare let's start right here…When you threw yourself down the stairs, what were you thinking of? Why did you want to get rid of the child?"

"Well… I was thinking about my ex and how horrible he was and I just knew that if I had the baby…then all of his evil would somehow transfer to this child. And there would be another murderous abuser on the loose."

"I see, so why the regret?"

"Because, after it was done I started to wonder if there was any possibility that the baby could have been good… normal. What if I made a mistake?"

"Well Clare the really messed up part about life is that we all make mistakes… Each and every one of us makes a mistake. Sometimes the damage can be fixed and sometimes it can't. In this case, the damage it done. The baby is gone. It may have been the next big serial killer, or maybe not but we will never know because you made a mistake…like we all do so what I want you to do is forgive yourself."

"How?"

"Don't linger in the past. Anytime you find yourself starting to travel into that tunnel of depression think of something else…busy your mind or just vent, cry and let it all out. You don't necessarily have to hold it in…just find non destructive ways to vent."

I talked with Dr. Thornton for an hour and as much as I hate to admit it… I needed the help. I didn't feel that much better but a little of the stress was off my chest. Eli was still in the lobby waiting when I came out.

"So, how'd it go in there?"

"Okay I guess."

"Well, that's a start."

"Eli… can I ask you and honest question?"

"Sure."

"Why do you care so much about me?"

"I don't know… I just loved you from the first time I met you. You're my Clare."

**Eli**

Clare cracked a tiny smile and that made me smile. The change is minimal but I can already see a part of her old self trying to peek through the battered shield she's putting up. One day she will be back to her old self, well at least as close to it as she can get. After her experience she'll never be exactly the same again but that's okay because neither will I. We survived a war and she survived torture. It only makes me want to hold her more and comfort her when I think about what she must have gone through. I want to get her help, that way she doesn't have to think about him with every breath she takes and so that he doesn't get the chance to invade her dreams every time she closes her eyes. I want to get Clare help so that Jake Martin can die, finally and completely. It should be like he never existed.

"So…Adam is having a fish fry and movie night tonight. He wanted me to ask you to make the baked beans since yours are so finger licking good… Are you up for it?"

"Yeah… I'd like that."

"Great. Then I'll let him know."

I dropped Clare off at home and then I went back to my place where Adam was setting everything up.

"Dude, this night is going to be epic! If only Clare would make her famous baked beans."

"She agreed to… She's coming."

"Great! Now I have everything I need… Alli is making potato salad. The only person not contributing to this is really you Eli…"

"Hey… I'm bringing the drinks."

"Yeah, drinks you bought at the store. Not something you made yourself."

"I'm buying them with love."

"Dude whatever. You're lazy, just admit it. Even Fiona is cooking."

"Don't you mean Fiona's chef is cooking? What's the princess making?"

"A cake."

"Really? Interesting…."

"Hey, don't criticize my lady's culinary skills."

"Alright if you say so."

Tonight is going to be fun. I just hope Clare has a good time. Who knows, all of us goofballs together might take her mind off of her troubles and ghosts.

**So what did you think? Leave a review please! Thanks for reading.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Clare**

I held the pot of baked beans in my hands as I nervously walked to the door. I've knocked on this door a million times, and I used to have a key to it but right now this door is my enemy because behind it lies a party… A party full of people I know. That might sound delightful but I'm scared out of my mind. I'm nervous. What if they don't want me around anymore? I mean I was basically absent for most of the year. What if… they've decided I'm not fit to be in their social circle?

I knocked on the door and Fiona Coyne answered. Immediately she handed the beans off the Adam who was right behind her and she scooped me up in a big bear hug. What an absolutely "Fiona" thing to do.

"Clare! I haven't seen you in so long! Come in!"

"It has been ages Fiona. You've gotten taller."

"Nah, it's just my new pumps."

All around me people hugged me and they looked generally happy to see me. I guess I was nervous for nothing. Before I could even ask Adam where Eli was he answered briskly.

"He's on the balcony grilling for the people who don't want fish."

"How'd you know I was looking for Eli?"

"Oh please…you two are like magnets. Nothing can keep you apart."

I went to the balcony and immediately the height brought back that memory of me being held out of the window. I felt a bit of anxiety start to creep up on me but I shook it off as best I could.

"Kiss the cook huh?"

"Clare… when'd you get here?"

"Just now. Adam told me where you were."

"How are you?"

"Honestly…I was a little nervous about coming. Scared that things would be different but once I came in everybody just bombarded me with love and questions and I feel silly for even being nervous."

"Well for what it's worth… I'm glad you came. Now I just have one question."

"What?"

"Please tell me you have more of your baked beans stashed away somewhere?"

"Well… I did store what couldn't fit in the pot in a bowl in the fridge at my place."

"Excellent."

"You do love my baked beans."

"Clare…everyone loves your baked beans. With the little chunks of hamburger in it and the bacon on top."

"Well… I do my best."

I don't know if it was the moon being high in the sky, my fading panic attack or the smell of the hamburgers on the grill but I wanted to take a risk so I kissed Eli on the lips. It was just a peck, though I would have liked it to last longer.

"What was that for?"

"I just felt like it. That's all."

"Well uh…feel free to do that again. Any time you feel like it."

We just stared into each other's eyes until Drew's noisily broke up or romantic moment.

"Dude! Stop dicking around and finish the burgers! I'm turning into a stick person here."

"The burgers will be finished when they are finished. You'll have to wait like the others asshole."

"Dude whatevs…"

He went back inside the apartment and it was just Eli and me again. He flipped the burgers and we rejoined the party. Alli eyed me suspiciously but I pretended not to notice. She will probably be trying to get me back with Eli. If only she knew what I've just gotten out of. I haven't told her anything yet. She knows that Jake and I aren't together anymore but she doesn't know he's dead, or that he used to beat me or that there was a movie styled standoff. When I do decide to tell her I'm going to need a big cup of coffee and a lot of tissues to get through the story.

I ate, I had a few cokes but mostly I danced and laughed with my friends. I had fun like I haven't had in months. So much fun that I was sad when it was all over. Sometimes I forget that there won't be a beating or an insult waiting for me every night but there will be the nightmares and the thoughts…

After everyone started to clear out I stayed behind to help Eli clean up. Adam wasn't much help because he and Fiona were um… breaking in his new mattress, if you get my drift. After the last red cup had been disposed of and every splatter had been wiped up we fell back on Eli's couch.

"So did you have fun tonight?"

"Eli I always have fun at Adam's food parties…"

"I know."

"I have therapy again Friday."

"That's great. I mean…"

"I know what you mean Eli. Don't get all nervous. I guess I should thank you for making me go. It's only been one session but I feel a little better."

"Well that's great Clare. I just want you to get back to you. So, do you want me to take you home?"

"Yes…no… I just want to sit here a little while longer. Truthfully… I don't want to go back to my apartment."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's the loneliness."

"Clare if you wanted to spend the night all you had to do what say so… I'll take the couch and you take my bed."

"No thanks… who knows when you washed your sheets last."

"Haha… Well, fine sleep on the couch then. I'll give you one of my shirts to sleep in."

"Thanks Eli."

I changed into the shirt and when I came out of the bathroom Eli was making my pallet on the couch.

"Well… here's your bed. Sure you don't want to trade?"

"Positive. Goodnight Eli."

"Night Clare, scream if you need me."

I went to sleep chuckling to myself about how it will look tomorrow when I have to do a shameless "walk of shame" back to my apartment tomorrow. Soon I drifted off into sleep. Silly me for thinking being on Eli's couch would stop the nightmares.

**Eli**

I heard the sound of screaming and I woke up immediately. I went into the living room to see Clare tossing, turning and crying in her sleep. I woke her up and she jumped up, trembling, gasping and still sobbing. She latched onto me and I embraced her back until the nocturnal panic attack passed.

"I woke you up."

"It's okay."

"I'm crazy."

"You're not crazy…What was the dream about?"

"This time I dreamed he killed you."

"Well…I've had that dream before."

"How do you cope? I mean the dreams are so real."

"Well its easier for me to cope. I didn't know the guy. But I just remember that he will never get the chance to kill me because he's dead."

"Eli I just get so scared sometimes and I don't know why."

"Well… You know I'll protect you. I always will."

I sat on the couch beside her and she laid her head on my chest. In a matter of minutes all I heard were soft snores coming from her. I didn't want to disturb her so I just let her keep her head on my chest. I went to sleep with her ear to my heart.

**Clare**

For the first time in months I woke up and I wasn't traumatized. I looked over at Eli who was sound asleep. I put the blanket I had over him and I put on the clothes I had on the night before. I kissed Eli on the cheek and then I tipped out of the apartment to go back to my own. My walk of shame actually wasn't that shameful. It was only four thirty in the morning so the city wasn't really jumping yet. I got back to my place just in time to shower and doze until nine. I still had the nightmares but they were less intense. I thought they might have been wearing off until I was hit with a flabbergaster of a night terror.

_I woke up hanging out of a window, Jake holding me. "Clare where is your precious Eli now? He can't save you…nobody can save you." I struggled to get back on the inside but every move I made just made me closer to falling. "Please Jake…don't do this!" With that being said…. He let me go and I watched myself fall from the window and hit the pavement, dead on impact. _

Falling in the dream made me jump. When I woke up I realized that I'd fallen onto the floor. My alarm clock was going off so I got up, got dressed and I went to try and meet the new day with a different attitude. I looked to the liquor cabinet that held a bit of levelness for me yesterday... The Vodka called my name and tried to persuade me to crack but I kept walking towards the door. I'm going to need some gum to knock this edge off.

**Reviews please, tell me what you think!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Sexual healing alert! Whoop Whoop! Hope ya'll enjoy this chapter.**

**Clare**

_ Eli moved his perfect lips across my body, bringing pleasure with every kiss. He stopped at my breasts paying special attention to them. He suckled them and flickered his tongue across my nipple making it harden and sending chills right to my center. I rose up and pushed him back as I made a trail of kisses from his chest to his abs. I stopped at his "length" staring at it and stroking it gently for a moment before I decided to take him into my mouth. I basked in hearing his moans every time the tip of my tongue and the head of his cock met. After a few minutes he pulled me back up and greeted me with a kiss on the lips. He laid me down and then I noticed something was off… There was a bullet hole right in the middle of Eli's head! The blood from the wound dripped on me as I realized Eli was dead. I started to run only to be blocked by Jake and shot myself._

I woke up gasping. I looked around to see that there was nobody there but me and Eli. He was in the recliner covered up in my _Barbie_ sleeping bag. We must have fallen asleep watching movies. Its fall break and we've been hanging out more. Not only have we been getting to know each other again but therapy has also been kicking my ass…mentally, while Drew's self defense class has been kicking my ass physically. I'm on the track to being me again.

"Eli…"

"Dad I don't want to go walk Ms. Johnson's cats, they piss on my shoes."

"Eli… wake up!"

"Oh...What! Clare?"

"Yeah… we fell asleep on the couches."

"I guess we did. How did you sleep?"

"Well I didn't have but one nightmare and it was closer to when I woke up."

"That's great. Hey, mind if I shower?"

"Eli please… go ahead."

It's been months since I've had sex…real sex and now I'm starting to get my urges back. The dream I had last night let me know just that… I'm officially back to being horny. If I wasn't such a wimp I would just strip down to my birthday suit and join Eli in the shower but that doesn't seem like the right approach. Instead I watched him through the keyhole as he washed and then as he dried off. I need help!

He came out of the bathroom and a wall of shame washed over me because I watched him shower! I'm a peeping tom.

"Well, I've gotta go help Adam."

"Okay. See you later."

"For sure."

He left and I got dressed quickly, calling Alli while I slipped on my coat. She agreed to meet me at the coffee house on the corner. This is an emergency.

"So let me get this straight? You dreamed you gave Eli the old lollipop special and then you realized he was dead at the hands of Jake and you were next?"

"Yes!"

"You should definitely tell your therapist about this… You should probably tell him that you totally perved out and watched Eli in the shower too."

"Yeah… I will."

"Clare I'm kidding! You aren't a pervert. You are woman, you have sexual needs and desires and you are totally in love with Eli."

"Alli I'm just so confused. When I woke up this morning I've never been so wet and terrified. I've been wet before and I've been terrified before but having those two things happen at the same time is crazy!"

"Well you have an appointment with your therapist in an hour."

"Yeah I do."

"And self defense class with Drew after that."

"I can't do that."

"Why?"

"He called me tubby the last time I was there. He's mean and I'm not going to his classes anymore."

"Oh come on Clare that's just something he does to get you mad enough to fight."

"Well I don't want to."

"Please? For me…"

"Fine."

So as you can see I've filled Alli in on everything that happened from the beatings to the incident where I threw myself down the stairs. The reminiscing was full of tears and hugs and even some healing for me. That's been part of my therapy too.

I bid Alli goodbye for the moment and I went to the therapist's office. I made it right on time so I didn't even have to wait to go back.

"Clare…how are we since last week? Still dreaming?"

"Well…the dreams are still getting less intense and less frequent but last night I had a dream about well… I dreamed I was having sex with Eli and right in the middle of the action I realized he had a bullet wound to the head and he was dead. It was sort of like a wet nightmare."

"This is simple. This can be the mind's way of expressing urges for sexual contact and since Eli is your er…"

"My friend."

"Right…your "friend" he's the one who your mind is locked on."

"Also when I realized he was dead in the dream I saw Jake there with a gun and he killed me too."

"That would be your reoccurring fear of him. Trauma for abuse can be a hard thing to shake Clare. The dreams seem to be what upset you most though. We've gotten past the paranoia and you've gone several weeks without a panic attack but the dreams keep on coming and you know what? They will never stop. Sometimes dreams mean a little, sometimes they means and a lot and sometimes they mean nothing at all. Clare, you have to stop dwelling so much on these dreams about Jake Martin. He's dead and he's not coming back. There's no way to keep you from having the dreams but I'd like you to try something. The next time you go to sleep and wake up after a dream, don't let it upset you mentally. Dreams, well, nightmares can distress the body but you can refuse to let it distress your mind. Take the power away from the nightmare."

His words were making sense, like they always do I guess. We talked for about an hour about that and how I'm not a pervert for peeping at Eli. When my session was up I looked at my phone and I saw that I had a text from Alli re-confirming out plans to go to Drew's class. I don't want to but I will.

I went to my place and I changed. I walked into the workout studio and I got in my spot next to Alli. The class started.

"Today I am going to work you so hard that the fat will literally melt off your thighs! Especially you tubby, I know you've been eating those sugary cereal…"

"Alli he called me tubby again."

"Just ignore him."

After the group workout ended the individual fighting started and I was face to face with the trainer himself.

"Come on tubby! You look mad but you're not mad…you're just hungry!"

"Don't call me tubby."

"Aw…tubby's gonna cry. Want some cake?"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!"

I kicked Drew square in the nards and he bowed over in pain after he dropped to his knees. People crowded around him to help while Alli pulled me away and we made a clean getaway. I guess I've been armed with a weapon all along…my handy dandy foot.

We ran out of the building laughing and out of breath from all the madness that happened back there. I told him to stop calling me tubby…

"Clare I can't believe you kicked Drew in the beans!"

"I can't believe it either… I feel pretty good."

"I'll bet you do. Well my friend, we are at the road when you go to your apartment and I go to mine so… I will see you at Adam's weenie roast tonight."

"Sure thing."

I went to my apartment and I was surprised to see Eli there wearing a tool belt. His shirt was soaked in sweat…or water. I'm not sure which one but whatever it was…it was working for me.

"Hey there stranger."

"Oh hey. I hope you don't mind. I used the key you gave me to let myself in. I couldn't help but notice that your sink was leaking last night so I'm fixing it before Adam's."

"Is that water all over you?"

"Yeah… I got sprayed. How was your day?"

"Well… Therapy was great. He told me to stop paying attention to the dreams."

"That could help."

"And I just kicked Drew in the nards."

"What!"

"He was being mean. He kept calling me tubby so I just kicked him in the beans."

"Clare Edwards…do you know how many people have wanted to hit Drew in the nards over the years? You might just be a hero in the eyes of some."

"Well… I just did what needed to be done. He's a jerk. Why do we all hang out with him?"

"He's Adam's brother…"

"Oh yeah. I totally forgot."

I watched Eli fix the sink and I slipped into a few fantasies. If I don't release this sexual tension quick I'm going to end up forcing him into it! After the leak was fixed he asked to use my shower and I knew this was the perfect opportunity to do it! I waited until he was washing and I stripped down to my underwear. I was about to open the bathroom door when suddenly I looked at my body with all its scars and I put my clothes back on. How dare I think I was pretty enough to pull this off? The old me could have but the new me can't because I'm scarred and ugly. Eli would probably be disgusted. Shame on me.

**Eli**

As always Adam's party was sick. The weenies were in full rotation, Drew and Clare came to a peaceful agreement and the marshmallows were extra gooey. Only one thing bothered me… Clare wasn't acting like herself. She seemed fine earlier but after I came out of the shower she was more depressed. I know if I ask her what's wrong she will lie, so I did some light eavesdropping to her and Alli's conversation.

"Alli I'm just ugly. My body is like a horror show. I can't try to seduce him looking this way. I can't seduce anymore looking this way! I'll never have sex again. I'm disgusting."

"Clare stop being silly. Your body looks fine! The scars are barely visible and your figure makes me jealous. Any guy would kill to be seduced by you."

"Thanks for being nice Alli I just… I just know I'm not good enough for Eli anymore."

When I heard Clare say that it made me angry but it also saddened me. All I want is to be with Clare again. To make love to her, hold her talk to her and then propose somewhere along the line. Hell I even busted the pipes in her bathroom sink when she was sleeping last night just so I could come over and fix them today. If she hadn't gotten home so soon I would have broken something else just so I could spend more time with her because I love Clare Edwards. I just wish she knew that.

It occurred to me then that the only way I could get her to see that I loved her and wanted her too was if I was the seducer. I know her esteem is still a little low sometimes… Jake tried his best to break her but he probably didn't count on me fixing her. I just want to show her how gorgeous she is.

I watched her as she sat around the fire, poking the coals with the bent out clothes hanger she was using to roast her weenies and marshmallows. She's either bored or still thinking too much. I leaned down beside her and I whispered in her ear "Can we talk?" She looked up at me and shook her head yes so I grabbed a blanket, a flashlight and a few marshmallows for the road. Once we were far enough away from the party I got behind Clare and I covered her eyes.

"Eli… where are we going?"

"You'll see."

"I can't see!"

"Shhh… Just wait and see."

I knew there was a dock in the area and that was my destination. The moon sparkling over the water…the crackling of the wind blowing through the crisp leaves… it's a romance recipe.

It was dark so I sparked up the flashlight to guide our way. Once we finally made it to the dock I took my hands off of Clare's eyes and I enjoyed seeing her smile while I watched the moonlight's reflection in her big blue eyes.

"Eli this is beautiful."

"Yeah… I know but it really doesn't compare."

"To what?"

"To you."

Before she could try and object to my statement I kissed her and before long she got my drift and she kissed me back. I think next… I'm going to break her shower head.

**Clare**

Eli ripped a hole in my underwear. It wasn't really my favorite pair so I wasn't too upset. When he entered me it was like being reacquainted with an old friend. There wasn't a lot of room for foreplay on the dock so we just got right to business which was okay with me. The love we were making was very wild and untamed. Our kisses were hard and passionate while his strokes were deep and impacting. I didn't try to hold back my whimpers and moans. I didn't care if I attracted wolves or any other animals. I didn't care if a pervert was looking on from behind the bushes. All that mattered was this moment. Eli sucked air in through his teeth as I dug my nails into his back while he plunged his lengthy hardness even deeper into my core. I wrapped my legs around his waist, not sure what else to do at this point because I felt a wave coming. It wasn't a wave from the lake we were on though; it was a wave of a different kind. A wave of pleasure swept over me gradually yet briskly and I clung to Eli even tighter while I breathlessly whispered his name and trembled from the euphoria. He followed me in to the state of bliss soon after and we lay on the dock kissing each other like it was the last time, or perhaps the first. The orgasm coupled with the waves of the lake made it feel like I could feel the earth turning. It was amazing and nobody got shot.

"I broke your sink."

"What?"

"I broke your sink on purpose Clare. I… I wanted an excuse to be at your place. I needed a reason to be around you."

"You could have just told me you wanted to come over."

"Well… I'm a guy and I'm sort of stupid sometimes so I had to do things the hard way but I know there is something I have to do."

"What?"

He pushed me down gently and he began to raise up my shirt. I tried stopping him but he moved my hands. He looked at my scars and I felt so embarrassed that I started to cry.

"Clare I love every part of you. I love…this part. And this part… And this one too."

He started to kiss every single scar that was on my body. Even the ones I got when I was a kid. My tears of mortification soon turned into tears of joy and a bit of disbelief. How can he love something that's so ugly?

"Clare... you are beautiful therefore your scars are beautiful. They are reminders of how strong and brave you are… how caring and loving you are and how selfless you can be. I don't know about you but if I had to have any scars… I'd rather have ones that inspire than ones that I got falling off a bike or something trivial like that."

I kissed him and he kissed me back. The innocent lips locking soon turned into making out and that turned into another love making session. This time I climbed on top of Eli and I eased onto his hardness. When he was completely in I grinded my hips while moving up and down on his shaft. He unbuttoned my shirt and slipped my bra off hastily. He palmed my breasts and caressed my stomach with one hand while the other stayed securely on my hips. Whenever I sped up his grasp got a little tighter and when I slowed down to tighten my walls around his length, he moaned and so did I. This pleasure pattern went on for a while and I felt the wave of bliss slowly creeping up on me until Eli sent it on a fast track by massaging my clit with his thumb. The contents of my pleasure dripped out and oozed down Eli's condom-covered cock. I noticed that it was filled with Eli's cum as well. I guess the wave hit us at the same time this round. I lay on Eli and he rubbed my back while we watched the moon's reflection on the water. We probably would have stayed there for an infinity if Adam hadn't called Eli and told him to come back to the party.

We decided that getting back to our friends would be best so we got redressed and went back to the bonfire weenie roast like nothing happened. I'm sure everybody knew what we were doing but officially… it's just between me and Eli.

**Please leave a review. Thanks for reading.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Clare**

Things with Eli and I have been a little awkward since we had sex on the dock. I've started a new job so we don't spend as much time together as we used to but I didn't think we were so far in the freindzone that he'd just… take another girl to the homecoming party on the yacht. Yeah… I have to work during that party so he would have been going stag but that's better than him being with Imogen.

When the last table at the coffee house was cleaned I walked back to my apartment only to see a sexy red dress and shoes there with a letter from Alli. _You get off at 10, the party don't stop til 1 so get your ass down here Fred!_ Who in the hell is Fred?

I showered and I put on the dress. I wasn't in the mood to do much to my hair so I just threw it up in a neat bun. I took a cab to the yacht where the party was being held. I showed my student ID to get in. The party certainly was in full momentum. There were centipedes of people bumping and grinding in every corner of the boat.

The first person I saw when I got inside was Eli who was with Imogen. They were sitting at the table and he looked miserable. She on the other hand looked excited. Serves him right… I don't know if it was fate or the blinding flash of red that probably flooded his peripheral but Eli looked my way and he smiled. I ignored it to go find Alli… childish? Yes… fun? Yes!

"Alli thanks for the dress."

"Clare! Oh my god you look amazing! You are so going to make Eli jealous."

"I already did. He looks miserable."

"You know…he doesn't really like Imogen. He just went because he's a nice guy and because she's Adam's cousin. She begged him and he didn't want to be cruel. Speaking of which, he's watching you are you going to keep ignoring him?"

"Yup."

"Clare Edwards, are you playing hardball?"

"I just want to be chased I guess. And I want to punish him a little…"

"Well Mistress Clare, put your poker face on. He's coming over."

I tried to look like I didn't know exactly what was going on. I thought I had Eli fooled until he whispered in my ear.

"Clare…you have a horrible poker face."

"You haven't even seen my face yet."

"I don't have to see it to know that you are grinning. Done punishing me?"

I turned around to face him. He was wearing a black suit that made him look handsomer than he already was.

"Well I don't know… I was just so heartbroken… I think I thought about crying."

"I'm sorry… I was just doing her a favor."

"Well I guess a good deed can be forgiven. Speaking of which, shouldn't you be with your date?"

"Who Imogen? She's talking to Dave."

"Dave huh? That's… good for her!"

"Let's dance."

"Just one minute."

I took off my shoes. The heels were killing me and it didn't help that I'd been on my feet most of the day. I held them in my hand while Eli and I danced to the slow song that was playing.

"So Clare, now that I have you here we can talk about why you've been avoiding me."

"Me, avoiding you? You're the one who hasn't wanted to hang with me."

"That's not true. I'm dying to come over and hang."

"Well then just do it. "

"Alright I will… Things aren't getting weird are they? Since we had sex?"

"No not really… a little. I just want to know where we stand Eli."

"Well… Could I call you my…wife?"

"No silly. We aren't married."

"My boo?"

"Ick… I hate the pet name."

"My girlfriend?"

"This one works for me. Clean and classic, I like it. And I'll call you my man meat."  
>"Your boyfriend works just fine thank you."<p>

"I just hope things are… wonderful."

"What do you mean?"

"Our relationship. I hope things are better this time around."

"No doubt about it Clare. They will be."

Just then Imogen appeared and Dave wasn't far behind her.

"Hello Clare and Eli… um Eli, I know we were on a date but I'm not feeling well so Dave is taking me home."

"Imogen… I know you and Dave hit it off. It's okay."

"Great! See you later."

They left and it was just Eli and me again… well minus the others on the yacht.

"So how is therapy going?"

"Actually… its going okay. He's cut down my hours. Now instead of twice a week its once a week."

"Whoa… look at you making progress."

"I know I know."

"So Clare… what are you doing after this?"

"Uh I don't know. Why?"

"You'll see."

**Eli**

When the party was over we got off the massive boat and into Morty. Clare was filling me in on the new job so she wasn't really paying attention to where we were going. When we pulled up in the gymnasium's parking lot she seemed surprised.

"Eli what are we doing here?"

"You'll see."

I went in through the back which is usually unlocked. The lights were still on because they don't turn them off. I led Clare across the blue mats to the trampoline room. She looked surprised but happy.

"Eli how'd you find this place?"

"I'm a nosey person. It's what I do."

She kicked off her heels and I took off my shoes and jacket. I helped her up onto the massive trampoline and we jumped. Clare is a very cautious person so she was sticking to the old "bounce a little" routine but I was jumping high and doing flips.

"Elijah be careful."

"Whooo hoooo!"

"Eli I'm serious. If you get paralyzed it will cost a fortune to get Morty converted."

"Come on Clare live a little. Jump high, do some flips."

"Aren't I living a little just getting in a car with you?"

"Ha ha Edwards, real funny."

I stopped bouncing and I hopped over to Clare who was standing on the trampoline slightly moving herself up and down.

"You know what... I can show you living Clare."

I kissed her and she kissed me back. I could feel her lips curled into a smile while they met.

"I can't believe you thought I was actually dating Imogen."

"I can't believe you didn't clear the pity date with me first!"

I pressed my forming erection to her core and she smiled deviously. I could tell things were about to get serious. I just hope there are no cameras to witness the public sex. I started pulling a condom out of my pocket when a voice rang out.

"Hey, you two what the hell are you doing here!"

"Run!"

Clare and I grabbed our things and took off running. The chubby night guard tried to chase after us but he gave up after a few feet. Clare and I jumped into Morty and high tailed it out of the parking lot. Once we were a secure distance away, in the Walmart parking lot we started laughing about all the trouble we could have gotten in had we been caught having sex… or if that guard was more in shape.

"So Boo…"

"Eli…"

"Alright alright, girlfriend Clare… What do you want to do now?"

"Well the mood is pretty much ruined. Wanna go in Walmart and take pictures with Ronald McDonalds?"

"The things I do for you Clare… The things I do for you."

**Please leave a review. Let me know what you think. Suggestions would be nice also. Thanks for reading.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Eli**

I watched Clare from afar as she tied on her apron and grabbed her order tablet. She has no idea I'm here so I figured it would be a good time to mess with her. I put my newspaper in front of my face when I saw her approaching my table.

"Hello sir, I'm Clare and I'll be your server today. What can I start you off with?"

"I want a bear meat sandwich with moonshine to drink."

"I'm sorry we don't carry bear meat or moonshine… anything else?"

"Well then I'll have you sweet cheeks."

"I'm taken… anything from the menu?"

"Oh really?"

I took down the newspaper and her jaw dropped. She started laughing and I laughed along with her. She should have known something was up.

"I should have known something was up when you wouldn't let me see your face. What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to see your beautiful face."

"Well since you're here… can I get you anything? It will be on the house…right out of my check."

"I'll have a cappuccino and I'll pay for it."

"Alright hardass. Be right back with that."

**Clare**

I thanked the lord for sending down yet another sign telling me that this relationship was a good move. Eli came by just to see me and I felt so loved and wanted. I went back out with his cappuccino, which I made with extra love and I handed it to him.

"Thanks gorgeous. So after this… any plans?"

"Just rubbing my barking dogs and counting tips. Why?"

"Well… my aunt has invited me to dinner and I want you to come with me."

"Sure."

"Great. Oh and here."

"What's this?"

"It's Christmas cards Clare… I'm doing my yearly list and these are for your parents. Are they flying in from the island for the holidays?"

"No. In all honesty… I don't even think I'm going there. I just want a hassle free Christmas."

"Well if you're not busy… my dad's cabin, me you, the gang… fun fun fun?"

"Fun fun fun!"

After waiting on Eli hand and foot, so to speak he left. But not without leaving me a very generous tip. I put it in m apron and then I went on serving the other tables. This job can get a little hectic but I like it. It makes me feel… needed.

The hours flew by between me earning huge tips and doing all my homework during my lunch break. Before I knew it I was clocking out. I remembered that I had to go with Eli to Winnie's tonight so I rushed home to find something to wear. I figured jeans, boots a plain black sweater and a pea coat would suffice. When I was ready I called Eli and within minutes Morty pulled up on the curb in front of my building. I locked up and went on down. He greeted me with a kiss and a cookie.

"What's this for?"

"I figured you'd be starved after all that hard work."

He wasn't wrong, I was starved and the cookie held me over until we made it to Winnie's where we all sat down to a feast.

"So Clare, how have you been lately?"

"I've been fine Winnie, just working and studying."

"What? No smooching with my handsome nephew."

"Winnie, geez you are embarrassing me in front of Clare!"

"What? You are handsome and I was young once. I know what goes on late at night…or early in the morning if the library is empty enough."

"Whoa, now I've heard waaaay too much. Aunt Winnie, my ears are burning."

"Alright alright, I'm sorry… Clare did Eli invite you for Christmas? You are welcome to come if you don't have plans."

"Yes he did invite me and I'm quite looking forward to joining you all."

I love my parents but if I can be honest I still have a little bit of resentment towards them. If my father had never gambled away everything we could have still been the average normal family instead of the family who nearly died in a standoff. I just… need a while to cool down and forgive them in my heart. Maybe I'll fly out to the islands after Christmas to visit.

Dinner was great and Winnie kept me laughing the way she embarrassed Eli with her colorful and suggestive phrases. Seeing him turn "apple" red was the laugh I needed in my day. After the main course and dessert everybody gathered in the living room and we watched the photo album disks Winnie had. A lot of the pictures were of Eli when he was a baby. He was fat, bald and mostly nude in the pictures. Then there was a picture of someone I didn't know.

"Who is that Eli?"

"That's my mom."

I know she passed but I've never seen her before. Not even in pictures. Eli has her eyes. I saw his eyes glass over with tears and he left the room. I discreetly followed him into the kitchen where he was stooped over the kitchen counter, trying to get it together.

"Eli… are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You have your mom's eyes."

"What?"

"You have her eyes."

"Oh… I guess I do."

"Are you really okay?"

"Yeah… I just needed a moment to get it together."

We walked back into the living room to continue looking at the pictures. We held hands and laughed at the memories until everyone had been shown. After that we went back to my apartment and he spent the night. We lay in bed cuddling until we both drifted off to sleep. Sometimes being held by the one you love is almost better than sex… almost.

**I know this was short and I promise to make the next chapter longer. Thanks for reading please leave a review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Clare**

_The sound of a baby crying led me out of my bedroom and into the hall where a bassinet sat eerily at the end of it. I walked cautiously to the crib and when I was close enough I saw a baby squirming under a blanket. I felt silly for being so scared of a precious little baby. It poked its little arm out from under the blanket and it read "Edwards"… This is my baby. I noticed that there was blood starting to leak through the blanket so I unwrapped the baby only to find that it wasn't a baby at all but an undeveloped fetus that was rotted and bloody. I dropped it on impulse and as soon as it hit the ground a strange metamorphosis happened. It grew and grew until it was Jake Martin. That cruel smile spread across his face and before I knew it I was being raped and I experienced the process of dying but just when I was ready to take my last breath… I felt something sharp prick my feet._

I woke up to see that I was standing in the middle of the street. Cars were zooming by me blowing. I was standing on chunks of glass form a car wreck so my feet got cut. I looked around and it was still night. I must have sleep walked down here. I started crying, not only because of the terrifying dream but because of the dangerous predicament I woke up in. I went back into my apartment and I called Eli. I felt bad about waking him but I need him right now.

"Did you call to talk dirty?"

"Eli please come over…. I'm scared."

"Clare? Are you okay?"

"No. I'm not. Please come over right now…."

"I'll be right there."

Within fifteen minutes Eli was knocking on my door. I was still in shock and trembling. Maybe I was just making a big deal out of nothing…but maybe not. I told him all about the dream and then I told him where I woke up.

"I'm crazy Eli."

"You are not crazy Clare. This is odd and the dreams…they will keep coming but you know what, we will make it through this. It's probably just the stress… We will be leaving for my cabin in a few days. A break from the city is what you need."

"Yeah, maybe I'll sleep walk into a wolf den."

"Stop it… Do you want some cocoa? For your nerves?"

"Yes… that would be wonderful. You are a really great guy Eli."

"Well I wouldn't be that great of a guy if you weren't such a great girl."

I tried calming myself down but it was hard. The hot chocolate helped a little but ultimately it was Eli, wrapping his arms around me that eased my anxiety. I fell asleep in his arms.

The next morning I woke up and Eli was already gone. I hopped on my computer to see the results of my exams. I passed all of my classes. I was so happy that I leaped in the air. However, just as soon as the happiness hindered just a bit the negativity from last night sank in. It's a good thing I have therapy today.

I got dressed and I went into the office. It was warm and decorated with snowmen, nativity scenes and Santa's. I was the first patient of the day so I got to go on back.

"Clare, how've you been lately?"

"Not good. Last night I had a horrible dream but that isn't what was scary… I sleep walked into the middle of the street."

"I can see why you are upset about that. Sometimes sleepwalkers are run over by mistake. Have you been stressed lately?"

"Yes… but its normal right?"

"Well with your trauma and the stress that may have caused you to sleepwalk. Just…take the load off and see if that helps but if it persists then I will write you a prescription for klonopin."

I talked to him some more about the dream and the drugs he was talking about. I left feeling a little better but still shook up. I could have died. I guess I shouldn't be that weirded out though. I've been closer than that to death before.

I went to work only to have the front counter blocked by Spinner while I was trying to get my apron and order pad.

"Spinner I have to get my things. Please move."

"No can do Clare… I got strict orders from Eli not to let you work today so just go on home."

"What! Since when does Eli make the rules? You are the owner! I'm working."

"I don't think so… I've already called in Peter to take your shift. Look I'm not supposed to say anything but I think he's got something special planned."

"Fine well… here is your Christmas card. I probably won't see you before the holidays. Tell Emma I said happy holidays and kiss the baby for me."

"Will do. Oh and here's your Christmas bonus."

"Thanks."

I left the place a little flustered that I'd walked there for nothing, but I was also excited that Eli obviously had something up his sleeve. I went to his place and I saw Adam getting his things to leave. He didn't look happy about it.

"Adam where are you going?"

"I'm being evicted for the night so I'm going to your apartment… Is your key still under the mat?"

"Yes."

"Well good… I hope you have snacks and liquor."

"I hope you have money for groceries…"

He chuckled before walking out the door. I heard the sound of sizzling so I went into the kitchen where Eli was frying up something. It looked like some kind of chicken but I couldn't tell.

"So you got me excused from work?"

"Yes I did. I hope you like homemade chicken stir fry."

"You know I do."

While he flipped and tossed the chicken and veggies I put the rice on. It was relaxing cooking with Eli, even though we did argue about how much teriyaki to put in the dish. Things couldn't have gotten better… until they got worse.

**Eli**

"Drew slow down you aren't making any sense!"

"Adam got shot! He… I don't know what happened… The police just called me. They are taking him to East General!"

Clare and I grabbed our coats and rushed out the door, only having time to turn off the stove. By the time we made it to the hospital Mrs. Torres and Drew were there panicking. I was panicking too. Being calm just wasn't an option.

"What happened?"

"Adam was in a convenience store and the place got robbed. He was just going in for a pack of fucking gum. It was in his hand when the meds came to his aid."

"Where did he get shot?"

"The doctor says in his chest. They are operating now."

The next person to run through the door was Fiona. There was mascara running down her face and she stumbled a little as she tried to run in her expensive high heels.

"Is he okay! Please! Tell me something! Please!"

"Fiona calm down… we don't know."

"Mrs. T I'm so scared!"

"I know… all we can do is wait."

That's what we did. Clare and I sat quietly holding hands. Nobody was speaking yet there was no tension in the air only worry and sorrow. Adam is my best friend. If I lose him I will lose it. He's the brother I always wanted but never got. He's part of my family.

The doctors came out and spoke to Mrs. Torres quietly. When he walked away she turned around with a smile on her face.

"What?"

"He's going to be alright! It went straight through his shoulder. It did break it but they've pinned it back together. He's going to be okay!"

Everybody breathed a sigh of relief. Especially Fiona who was still crying. We all crowded into the little room he was in. His hair was all over his head and he looked out of it. This would be a prime opportunity to get blackmail pictures but I won't because I'm so damn happy he's alive.

"Look, I got shot. Somebody better have flowers."

Everybody laughed at Adam's statement because he was obviously high as a kite off of the hospital's good dope. After a few minutes of visiting him we bid him goodbye and let Mrs. Torres and Fiona fuss over him.

Clare and I went back to my place where the half cooked stir fry had been waiting for hours. We both decided it would just be better to go out to eat, so we did and it was still just as special as it would have been with me cooking and we didn't even have to fight over teriyaki sauce.

**So I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I just wanted to add Adam getting shot into this piece because that really disturbed me Thursday night. I was like "Adam! NOOOOO!" Any who, please review and as always thanks for reading.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Clare**

This cabin is proving to be extraordinarily fun. There is an ice skating rink in the backyard! I have to admit that I'm having as much fun as a kid in a candy store.

Everybody went to town to get the fixings for the Christmas feast but Eli and I stayed behind. Once we heard the car pull off he smiled at me deviously and walked over to me. He pulled me up from the couch and placed a soft kiss on my lips. The scent of his cologne flooded my nostrils and made my head spin. He placed a kiss on my neck and hugged me tight.

"Why didn't you just tell me Clare?"

"Tell you what Eli?"

"That… I'm going to be a dad."

"What!"

"Clare don't lie, I saw the pregnancy test in the bathroom in the guestroom you are staying in."

"Eli I don't know what you are talking about. I'm not pregnant…"

"Then who is?"

Then it hit me. I knew who was pregnant. It had to be Alli! She used my bathroom while I was getting dressed. It was just odd that she didn't tell me about it. The mood for sexy time was ruined by the startling realization was ruined so Eli and I just sat there laughing at the fact that he thought I was pregnant.

Soon everyone came back from town. Alli came in last, looking peaked. I walked over to her and pulled her back outside.

"Alli!"

"Clare!"

"Your pregnancy test almost got me in trouble with Eli. You are having a baby?"

"Yes I am and I'm terrified. Drew is ecstatic, Mrs. Torres and Adam are too but I'm just scared."

"Of what?"

"Failing. Failing in school, at work, as a mother… I mean Drew and I haven't been dating that long so I'll probably fail as a girlfriend with this added distraction."

"Alli you've always been abnormally good at everything. Don't worry about it. I know you'll be a great mom, still graduate as valedictorian and as for Drew, don't worry about failing as a girlfriend, he better not fail as a boyfriend or else I'll use the kickboxing skills he taught me to beat his raggedy ass!"

"Oh Clare! I love you. I wouldn't be able to get through this without you."

"I'll send your bill at the end of the month."

We both chuckled and went back inside where the cooking was already taking place. Mrs. Torres was stuffing the bird and Winnie was making something for us to eat tonight. Mrs. Torres smiled at Alli and looked at her tummy with a look of pure adoration. I don't think I've ever seen her look so… happy. Fiona Coyne came into the kitchen, probably to get something for Adam. He's really milking the whole "being shot" thing.

"What does King Adam want now?"

"Ugh, he wants one Oreo with whipped cream on top and a thimble of milk. He's so out of control with his demands."

We all laughed and then I went into the living room to get out of the way of the cooking ladies. Chris, Drew, Bullfrog, Mr. Torres and Adam were watching a game meanwhile; Eli was looking at the snow that was falling. I stood beside him at the window. He looked over and smiled at me. I smiled back.

"Oh for goodness sake you two get a room! Stop giving each other the dirty eye. I'm about to lose my Oreo."

"Oh hush Adam!"

Eli grabbed my hand and led me to the back. He opened a door that I assumed was a closet and it led to stairs. We went down and there was another room. Inside that other room was a smaller room that simply held a bed.

"What is this, a secret sex room?"

"No… it's a secret bedroom. I figure we could use the privacy right now."

I latched onto him kissing him feverishly. At first I took him by surprise but he soon caught the drift of what I was hinting at. His hands roamed my body, touching the places where the sun doesn't shine and the moon doesn't glow. I became winded again not only from moving around but because every kiss from him took my breath away. I haven't had any more dreams… and I haven't been disturbed since I've been here so I'd like to think maybe Eli knows exactly what I need. He's just so…right for me. I pulled his sweater over his head and he kicked his pants off. I slide down the jeans I was wearing and he unbuttoned my top, exposing my snowflake decorated panties and bra. He chuckled at it before stripping me of that too.

He entered me hastily but not roughly. I moaned softly in his ear as his demolished the longing waiting between my grinding hips. We became lost between the sheets of the luxurious king sized bed. He kissed my breasts, his lips feeling as soft as rose petals on my sensitive assets. We locked lips and bumped noses in an Eskimo kiss and then we were both ushered into a borderless unlimited bliss. We lay in that bed, tangled in each other for what seemed like an eternity. A blizzard could have come and buried us all but we would have been none the wiser.

**Eli**

Clare snored softly in the sheets after we made love. I couldn't go to sleep because I was way too excited and nervous. I pulled the ring from my jean pocket and I slipped it on her finger. It was my mom's ring. I didn't even have to ask for it, my father already knew I was going to need it. Maybe the fact that I love her is written all over my face, maybe somebody put it in the papers but everywhere I go people just know that I'm in love… but if they were with Clare Edwards they'd be in love too.

I got up and got redressed. I kneeled down beside her on the bed and I tickled the tip of her nose. She swatted my hand at first, so I did it again. She opened her eyes, at first looking confused but eventually giving me that smile I longed to see.

"What's up?"

"Oh I don't know… The heavens, the price of gas, my heart rate."

"Why is your heart running away?"

"It's not running away… It's just running towards you."

"So corny. I'm a sucker for it. Ahhhh! Eli, what's this?"

"It's my mom's ring."

She sat up and covered herself with a sheet as she looked down at her hand in shock. She was trembling and tears were falling from her eyes.

"I know its cliché to propose during the holidays but it just felt right. Clare I need you to be mine."

"….."

"I understand if you don't want to marry me. I shouldn't have asked. It's too soon anyway."

"No Eli… I… it's not that I'm just in shock a little. Nothing would make me happier than to be yours forever but… I don't know how to be a wife."

"You don't have to be a wife, just be a Clare."

"I can be a Clare… I'll be your Clare."

"And I'll be your Eli."

She jumped off the bed and onto me. We both went to the ground. She cascaded me with kisses and then we started getting redressed.

"Should we tell them? I don't want to overshadow Alli's baby news."

"Clare… it's your call."

We went back upstairs and I sat down beside my dad who was absorbed in a game.

"Did you do it?"

"Yeah I did… She said yes."

"HEY EVERYBODY! SHE SAID YES! DREW IN YOUR FACE, PAY UP!"

It's kind of like Bullfrog to make a bet on this kind of thing so I'm not really surprised. Alli hugged Clare and squealed and Winnie did too. Drew payed my dad fifty dollars and gave him the stink eye. Clare walked back into the living room, Alli and Fiona at her sides. She was blushing. If I do ever get old and lose every memory I have, I will still never forget how beautiful she looked at this very moment. My Clare, my heart. The only thing that can make this moment better is my mother but I'd like to think she's here in spirit. We have a piece of her here to make this moment special.

**reviews please! i know this is like the second story where eli proposes on christmas but i cant help it... christmas is just such a wonderful proposal time =) thanks for reading **


	14. Chapter 14

**Clare**

I slipped on my simple white dress. It was form fitting and it stopped just above the knees. Slipped on a pair of strappy silver sandals and I sprayed myself with perfume. Today is the day, I'm marrying Eli. We didn't want a big wedding so we are just going to the courthouse. Nobody knows it's today and that's sort of the way I want it.

I walked out into the living room where he was putting the finishing touches on the new décor. I had to make room for his "guy stuff" since he's moving in with me. We looked at each other, not saying anything but smiling. I grabbed my sweater and my bouquet made of white roses and we left my apartment.

We went into the courthouse and told the secretary we had an appointment with the judge. She rang him but while he prepared to marry us we had a few moments to sit in the waiting room.

"Are you ready to do this? Be stuck with me forever…."

"Forever? I thought we might only try it for a year."

"Eli! I'm serious. Come on…"

"Yes I'm ready to be stuck with you forever… maybe a little longer…if you don't get fat."

"Eli! I can't believe you just said that!"

"I was just joking. You didn't have to punch me so hard."

"You deserved it. I'm nervous."

"Nope…no backing out on me now. I sent your dad a cow and ten sheep… you're mine love."

"You're a total weirdo…"

"Elijah Goldsworthy, Clare Edwards, the judge will see you now."

We linked fingers as we walked back to the cramped little office. We sat in the two chairs in front of his desk.

"So you two youngsters want to get married aye?"

"Yes you honor."

"Yeah… I see kids your age coming through here all the time and two months later they are right back in front of me wanting to get out of what they've gotten into. Are you sure?"

"Positive. I love Eli and he loves me."

"You don't have to marry just because you're pregnant."

"Oh I'm not pregnant."

"So this isn't a shotgun wedding… interesting. Well I hope you two kids know what you're doing."

"Yes sir we do."

"Well now that that's all done… let's get down to business."

The ceremony was quick which was just as well because we were impatient and about to explode. Once the judge declared us husband and wife I jumped into Eli's arms and he carried me over the threshold of the judge's door and into the lobby of the courthouse where all our family and friends were waiting for us.

"Oh my god! What are you all doing here?"

"We couldn't let you two get married without us."

All of our family and friends were there including my parents whom I haven't seen since the standoff. Everybody came bearing gifts, Alli had the biggest gift of all because right there, in the courthouse she doubled over in pain and water trickled down her legs.

"I'm going into labor!"

"Right now?"

"Right now!"

Eli put me down and everybody scattered like rats, unsure of what to do. As for Drew, well, he passed out. Eli and Adam tried to wake him but he was out like a light. Me, Fiona, my mom and Winnie rushed to Alli's aid to help her to Morty, since he had the most room in the back. Eli was our driver and since Chris was a doctor, he rode with us in the makeshift ambulance. Adam and Bullfrog had the daunting task of getting Drew, still unconscious, into the car they came in. it was a scene worthy of a movie.

"Ahhhhh!"

"Alli its going to be okay… think of puppies and cotton candies and those little mini gummy bears an…"

"Not working!"

"Okay well think of Prada having a blowout everything must go sale."

"It's working a little! Ahhh…. Tell me about the shoes!"

"They are stilettos…"

"Sandals or pointy toe."

"Sandals. And they are cheetah print with a red heel!"

"It's working… I think… I think this contraction is over."

Chris took Alli's vitals and stats before we made it to the hospital. Once we arrived he gave the information to the doctors and nurses there. They got Alli in a room and she proceeded to scream her head off. Drew woke up, but he passed out again when he saw the midwife checking to see how far dilated she was so Eli had to stand in.

**Eli**

"Ah! My hand!"

"Ahhhhh my vagina! I think my pain is worse than yours buddy!"

Alli was in labor, with no medicine and Drew was out cold… still. Seeing the baby crowning sent him right back into his state of unconsciousness… who'd think Drew would be the type to pass out over… well… the horror. Clare was videotaping while Winnie and Mrs. Edwards dabbed Alli's head and told her encouraging words. Mr. and Mrs. Bhandari were on a plane from Japan as we speak and Sav was driving all the way from Seattle and the Torres's were on a plane coming back from a shopping trip in London.

"Okay Alli, its time that you push."

"Finally! I just want this thing out of me!"

"Well that's not a nice thing to say about the baby."

"Shut up and give me your hand Elijah!"

Clare just stood back taping it all and looking shocked, I guess as she saw what was going on. Alli started pushing and the bones in my hands started breaking…. Maybe not breaking but it did hurt. She screamed and I screamed and then it was all over. The only screaming to be heard was that of the little baby the doctor was holding up. Alli released my hand and reached out for the blood and slim covered child.

Drew walked into the room looking dazed and confused. He came over to the bed and took his rightful place beside Alli as they admired their new baby boy. Clare passed the camera to Drew and we tipped out of the delivery room and into the waiting room where the rest of the crew was waiting. Today has been eventful.

**Clare**

I cannot believe I recorded a birth today. I can't believe I witnessed a birth today! Once Alli was cleaned up and moved into a regular room we went in. She and Drew were sitting up admiring their baby. He was chubby and adorable.

"Congrats Alli!"

"Oh Clare, I was wondering where you got off to. I want to thank you and Eli for staying with me on your big day and Eli… I'm sorry for yelling at you and hurting your hand."

"No biggie."

"That's why I want to ask you two to be little Junior's god parents."

"Me? A godmother… I couldn't possibly…okay!"

"Yeah that sounds great… "

We dined on food from the hospital's cafeteria, which wasn't the best but it was better than nothing. Eli and I shared a muffin instead of cake. Afterwards we chatted with our family and friends and I started to truly forgive my parents. When it started to get late and both Alli and the baby were too worn out to go on me, Eli and the rest of our bunch left.

We went back to my apartment and when we got out Eli swept me off my feet. I was expecting to go and consummate the marriage but a stray Doberman had other plans. Eli put me down and we ran for our lives, finally climbing a tree to escape the crazy animal. It was foaming at the mouth and everything. I called animal control so that they could come and get the dog. It stayed there barking and clawing the tree for two hours because that's how long it took them to come. When they did finally arrive they sedated the dog and put him in a kennel. We can down from the tree and gave them a report. After the rabid animal was gone we finally went up to our humble abode, only to find that a window was busted out and a baseball was the culprit.

**Eli**

We are having some bad luck but nothing can be too bad as long as I'm with Clare. We got the window fixed and cleaned up the glass and then we finally had the opportunity to consummate the marriage but we were too tired so we ended up changing into our pajamas and going to bed wrapped in each other. Today has been a crazy day in both good and bad ways but it will definitely always be something we will remember forever.

**Clare**

While Eli was sleeping I got up and looked around my apartment at all the little changes like the addition of his bobble head collection and his scary movies to the DVD rack. One thing that caught my eye about the living room was bloody fingerprints on the wall from the first time Jake ever hit me… the night my life changed forever. I got a little breathless but then it became clear what I needed to do. I got the marriage certificate out of my purse and I pinned it to the wall with a thumbtack, covering the bloody print. That stage of my life was horrible but it's over and I'll get over it. Eli and I are the future and that's all that matters.

**This is the end of the story. Hope you liked it. Thanks for reading. **


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